February 9, 2011 | 9:21am
With Valentine's Day looming, you're probably thinking one of two things: "Should I dump this loser before I have to shell out money for a gift?" or "I need to find the perfect gift for the
love lust of my life." Tender glances, heartfelt letters, and massage IOUs are all lovely sentiments, but let's face it: You just want some action!
Before you go out and buy that scandalous negligee or cut out a hole in that well-wrapped gift box, it's important to ask yourself, what would the ancient Greeks do (WWAGD) in this situation? It's in times of romantic crises when we should to turn to the ancient Greeks for guidance. Who better than the Greeks, after all? Zeus, togas, and aphrodisiacs -- what's not to love?
In ancient times, aphrodisiacs were believed to increase libido, fertility, and stamina. Popular ancient Greek aphrodisiacs
included sensual delights like lentils, garlic, and other edible
bulbs. Did you just throw up in your mouth a little bit? If so, fear
not -- if eating bean soup, garlic bulbs, and raw onion isn't your
speed, then dust off your plastic bib and head to the nearest oyster
Oysters, like caviar, are said to have high amounts of zinc, which are believed to increase testosterone in men. What better way to say "I love you" (translated as "I love me") than by offering your beloved the sex-drive-inducing, briny innards of a mollusk?
This year, oyster bars are the new Brazilian steak houses! Food critics predict that oyster bars will be one of 2011's hottest food trends. Lucky for you and your sweetheart, there are plenty of outstanding oyster bars to check out, and you know what that means (insert hubba-hubba eyebrows here)! Order a few dozen raw oysters for you and your lovah to share. Squeamish? Try your oysters steamed or smoked. Want a twist? Oysters Casino or oysters Rockefeller are always crowd pleasers.
Oysters may have the power to increase libidos, but can they also increase sales? To answer this question, there was only one place to go: Landlubber's Raw Bar in Plantation. Landlubber's Raw Bar is, simply put, a South Florida institution that has been around since 1992. The restaurant offers fresh, budget-friendly raw and steamed oysters by the dozen ($9.79) and half-dozen ($5.50) seven days a week.
Leila, a lively, Egyptian waitress who has been working at Landlubber's for more than 22 years, said that she definitely notices an increase in oyster sales around the holiday, but in general, she's observed that "people order oysters all the time when they are in season [late September to April]. The other day, I had a couple who ordered six dozen!" That must have been quite a night!
Corey Summers, oyster aficionado and frequent Landlubber's diner, also can't seem to get enough of them. "I crave oysters. I eat them at least twice week. I love the whole process of eating oysters -- putting on the horseradish, the hot sauce, and the texture of the oyster." When asked whether he believed that oysters were really an aphrodisiac, he replied with a wry grin, "You're barkin' up the wrong tree 'cause I'm always horny!" Could it be a result of those weekly oyster binges?
We asked Leila what else she could tell us about those scandalous fruits of the sea; she smiled and replied, "Well, if you're lucky, you'll find a little pearl inside... I also know that if you eat too many of them, you'd better find someone to have sex with!" Ladies and gentlemen, Leila has spoken. Consider your V-Day dilemma officially solved!
Still wondering where to get your fix? Here are five pearls of wisdom:
These guys know what the ladies like: aphrodisiacs!
213 E. Atlantic Ave., Delray Beach
Lunch: Every day 11:30- 2:30
Dinner: Sun.- Weds. 5p.m.-10p.m. ,Thurs.- Sat. 5:00p.m.-11p.m.
Located on Atlantic Avenue, the Las Olas of Delray Beach, City Oyster & Sushi Bar is operated by Big Time Restaurant Group, which also manages other big-name restaurants like Big City Tavern in Fort Lauderdale and Rocco's Tacos in West Palm Beach. Try the oysters Rockefeller, oysters on the half shell, or the Petite Plateau -- a sinister combination of oysters, clams, jumbo lump crabmeat, and cocktail shrimp. Impress your sweetie by booking your Valentine's Day table online before the big day.
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