As your spoilsport friend who holds dual degrees in North American History and Party Pooping will tell you, our version of Cinco de Mayo isn't quite the authentic cultural celebration T.G.I. Friday's has led us to believe. Although the fifth of May as "honored" today in the U.S. is largely a product of an overwhelming desire to consume vast quantities of guacamole and fermented agave in a socially accepted display of gluttony, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take tonight (or early this afternoon) as an opportunity to cut loose and have some Tecate-fueled fun.
With that in mind, here are three spots in Palm Beach County where you can celebrate Cinco de Mayo till it's time to call a cab and start cooking up your excuse* for calling in -- cough, cough -- sick tomorrow. (*Not that anyone will believe any of your reasons for calling in on May 6.)
Uncle Julio's Fine Mexican Cuisine, 449 Plaza Real, Mizner Park -- The popular Mizner Park eatery will have happy-hour specials from 4 to 7 p.m. and live salsa and Latin music throughout the night. Throw back one of their signature "swirl" frozen margaritas, or go for the clean, simple, and outstanding Patrón classic on ice. Speaking of Patrón, a group of (presumably very attractive) female representatives from the liquor company will be on hand manning an ice shot luge. Arrive early if you want to secure a great people-watching spot on the sidewalk.
Rocco's Tacos & Tequila Bar, 5250 Town Center Circle, Boca Raton -- You're sure to encounter a raucous good time -- and some insanely good tequila -- and possibly even the man behind the moniker. Proprietor Rocco Mangel will take a party bus tour of three of the South Florida eateries that bear his name, with a Boca stop planned between 5 and 7 p.m. Maybe if you ask real nice, he'll even do his legendary Tequila Dance.
Caliente Kitchen, 8 E. Atlantic Ave., Delray Beach -- All-day drink specials, a Mariachi band, DJ, live music, activities for kids, Mexican cuisine -- this Cinco de Mayo fiesta promises to pull out all the stops.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.