Epic Meal Time Herman Cain Edition: Fast Food Pizza (Video)

Since we're all impatiently awaiting Herman Cain's important announcement today, we decided to figure out possible public relations strategies for Cain to get back into the good graces of the American public.Cain has a background in managing a fast food chain and a penchant for talking big, so we think...

By Laine Doss

December 3, 2011

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Since we're all impatiently awaiting Herman Cain's important announcement today, we decided to figure out possible public relations strategies for Cain to get back into the good graces of the American public.

Cain has a background in managing a fast food chain and a penchant for talking big, so we think he should team up with Epic Meal Time's Harley Morenstein and start giving away ultimate Epic Meal Time Pizzas instead of campaign buttons.

The pizza is made by topping a pizza with a McDonald's Big Mac, KFC's popcorn chicken, a Wendy's Baconator, a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell, and onion rings from A&W. Then it's topped with extra cheese and baked for 12 minutes. The result? A fabulous 5,210 calorie, 286 grams of fat meal fit for a king (or a President).

We think that this is a great way for Cain to win his way back into the hearts of American voters. Just think -- each pizza can feed an entire neighborhood for a week, ending inner city hunger, and all those fast food restaurants that will have to churn out nuggets and burgers nonstop would solve the unemployment crisis.

We think this is the boost Cain needs to re-energize his campaign. Forget about the Republican party -- we want a pizza party!

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.

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