So, if your father disrupted your happy home and discarded your mother because he wanted to marry some plump harlot and produce a male heir, you'd be pissed. And when Mary I was finally able to snatch up the throne (after the death of her sickly half-brother and fickle father, King Henry VIII), she was still pissed. All told, she burned more than 300 people at the stake on charges of heresy, got a less-than-adoring nickname ("Bloody Mary"), and died young.
All that aside, she left a legacy much more important, much more universal: Namely, a drink that is perfectly acceptable by most social standards to consume before noon, with or without a fabulous accompanying brunch. It's spicy, it's tangy, it's salty; it even functions as a delicious and effective hangover remedy. It's as filling as a bowl of tomato soup and as alcoholic as you need it to be.
But where do you get one? At a time when microbreweries and margaritas are more en vogue, what little hideaway divvies up the best Mary? Well, the best-kept secrets stay that way, and we could never hope to complete a list befitting a queen (of Scots) -- but we did find some good ones.
5. Whale's Rib (2031 NE Second St, Deerfield Beach. Call 954-421-8880.) The bartender describes these as the best margaritas in town. And actually, they might be the best appetizers in town too: Besides its perfect, spicy taste, the Whale's Rib bloody mary comes with shrimp, celery, and lime.
4. Mug's Bar (2671 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-566-7782.) There is no better place in South Florida to watch an early-afternoon Sunday football game, shake off last night's hangover, and indulge in a bloody mary. Mug's peppery marys are no pushover patsies either -- they're spicy as hell and will burn last night's tequila right out of your guts.
3. Maracas Mexican Bar & Grill (3001 N. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-537-2002.) This is worth having on the list just because it's so bright and happy here. Ignore the other enticing drinks -- with names like "Sex en la Playa" and "Organic Prickly Pear Margarita" -- and opt for the Maracas Sunday brunch. Add an extra $5 to your $9.95 breakfast item and you will be swimming in unlimited bloody mary happiness.
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2. Rosie's Bar & Grill (2449 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors. Call 954-567-1320.) No list of bloody marys would be complete without the Rosie's contribution. Rosie's Fabulous Brunch takes place every Sunday, between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., and during this time, you can procure $3 Ultimate Bloody Marys (also $5 mimosas and $10 Cruzan Voodoo buckets). This mary is one of Rosie's most popular drinks, and for good reason.
1. Hyatt Regency Pier 66 (2301 SE 17th St., Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-525-6666.) OK, so a $65 brunch is a little steep, but we need something on the list for the classy folk, right? Along with the buffet-style brunch and Intracoastal Waterway view, your bucks cover a tab of unlimited bloody marys. This also doubles as a fantastic place to take out-of-towners.They can ooh and aah over the view, and you can get shitfaced.
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