Want a Patron shot
and a Corona? Hit up Himmarshee St -- there's nothing here for you, bro.
If you haven't heard, Laser Wolf is the
laid-back beer bar half a mile away from the congestion and confusion
of Riverfront. It's one of Fort Lauderdale's few places that serve good
beer and no bullshit. It's small, curved and quaint, but lined with wide
windows, it exposes iron tables, passing trains and the Mother F-ing
party going on inside. Truthfully, it takes me back to the Brooklyn dive
bars where I used to drink $2 PBRs until I passed out -- except, this time of
year New York is cold and gloomy, while this place has an outside patio
where you can pick up tattooed chicks in 70-degree weather. Did I
mention they have a 2-4-1 happy hour? They do -- and it's delicious.
The last thing the owners and most of the patrons want is Laser Wolf to
be categorized as a
hipster bar--understandable,
as the first rule of being a hipster is completely denying that you're a
hipster. But after living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn for the last three
years, I feel I have an undisputed grasp on what a hipster is
(Williamsburg
is to hipsters as Mecca is to Muslims) and well, this is a hipster
bar -- an inviting one (the name alone is porn to progressives). But just
because there are more skinny jeans here than steroid users, does not mean it's not an awesome bar-- because it is. Actually from now on, please use that as the definition of an awesome bar.
Skinny Jeans < Steroids = This place sucks! Why do all the bartenders have fake tans?
Skinny Jeans > Steroids = This place is awesome! Why does that guy have a tattoo of a pirate ship on his face?
When
it comes down to it, where are you going to get 60+ craft beers in a
Fort Lauderdale setting that bumps music, but stays mellow? If you're
tired of Bud Blah, Miller Meh and Coors Craps, stop convincing yourself
that you like the bars you're currently going to and start coming out to
Laser Wolf. With or without you, I'll be there -- discussing everything except social politics, bands that were better before they were famous and how American Apparel has sold out since they went public.
A Wolf + A Laser = A Great Time
Who: You and that girl with the tattoos. Tell her you're into The Smiths.
What: 2-4-1 on selected draft beer (they only sell craft beer, nine continually rotating on draft and
another 60+
bottles, wine and sake).
Where: 901 Progresso Drive, Fort Lauderdale,
FL
When: 5pm-8pm, Monday-Friday.
How: With a degree from art school. Just kidding, they'll love you even if you dropped out.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.
