Saturday, July 3, 2010 at 7 a.m.
Does this face make you hungry for a bagel?
Poor Larry King -- he went from being the most-watched dude on CNN to recently hapless victim of the Ratings Reaper. Last week, he oh-so-modestly said, "I'm sure there's a ton of people who could do [my job]. Come on, it's Q&A."
Not true, Larry -- it's all but impossible for a mere mortal to lob a softball that slowly! Believe me, we've tried. It takes years of practice, and Larry's had more than a half-century to hone his art.
Now he's getting into the bagel business. Right here in Delray Beach.
True fact: Larry actually started his interviewing right here in South Florida -- at Pumpernick's Restaurant in Miami Beach, to be precise, whose bagels are probably long-forgotten. Larry's first customer/celebrity interview was singer Bobby Darin. Of course, he's interviewed eleventy-billion other celebrities since, often asking probing questions like "So tell me about your new [insert noun here]," offending them with his halitosis (remember the Donald Trump incident?), but always making us think. As in, "Hell yeah, I think I could do that!"
So what about those bagels, you ask?
Well, everyone knows the secret to making a bagel taste just like New York City is authentic tap water. Seriously. King's going to work for the Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co.,
where he will assist in franchise development and international growth. For the former, he'll stand outside each outlet dressed as an enormous Water Bagel, and for the latter he'll travel to exotic places like Mozambique, Canberra, and Yellowknife with a little leather case of bagels. That's what we imagine, anyway -- in reality, the truth will likely be much more mundane. It always is.
This little fact sure isn't mundane: Though it started last year up in Delray, the mad scientists at the Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co. have figured out a way to create "Brooklynized" water. That's the secret ingredient! According to the firm's recent news release, "a 14-stage patented water technology creates Brooklynized water, allowing franchises to produce a distinctive Brooklyn bagel anywhere in the world." What will these magical minds think of next? Let's hope it doesn't have anything to do with "Miamified" cocaine or "Chicagoized" politics!
We contacted the company late on a Friday for deets; will update if/when we have more to add.
UPDATE: We spoke with someone at the Brooklyn Water Bagel Company about King's new role.