Palm Beachers: We Don't Need a Green Market; We Have Maids

We don't need no fresh veggies.
We don't need no fresh veggies.
Flickr user: NatalieMaynor

Green markets, with their mountains of fresh veggies and artisan bread, have long been the yuppie alternative to slumming it with the wilted lettuce at Publix. But in the Town of Palm Beach, where the millionaires roam, fresh kale and organic tea are still no match for blue-blooded snobbery.

This week, the town's Planning and Zoning Commission rejected a proposal for a Sunday-morning green market because, apparently, the wealthy don't need fresh produce. They have maids.

"We have beautiful supermarkets to send our maids to," Palm Beach resident Ruby Rinker

told the commission, according to the Palm Beach Daily News. "If we were starving people that needed discounted food, that would be different. But we just don't need it."

One commissioner called the proposed market a "carpetbagger." Others worried that an open-air market would attract "trash" from the mainland. West Palm Beach has a popular, long-standing green market on Saturday mornings, and Palm Beach doesn't want those unsavory crowds drifting across the bridge to the island.

"The crowd at these things is a bit less than what you would expect in Palm Beach," Commissioner Floyd Wideman said.

Ah, yes. Yuppies walking their Shih Tzus with BabyBjörn carriers strapped to their chests are so lowbrow. Can you believe those people have the nerve to buy organic olive oil?

Clearly, Palm Beach dodged a bullet on this one. Just think what might have happened if the island served up crepes and fresh orchids on a Sunday morning. Residents like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter would never get over the shame.

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