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Rock Out With Your Crock Out on Wiener Wednesday

Kyle Schmitt chows down on a tasty wiener.
Kyle Schmitt chows down on a tasty wiener.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor


Due to our current recession economic downturn,

there has been a resurgence of potluck groups nationwide. Wiener

Wednesday is just one of many new potluck groups popping up all

over South Florida.

When I first found out about Wiener Wednesdays from Deirdre Funcheon, managing editor at New Times, I dropped to my knees and thought, "Yes! My prayers have been answered. Finally a group that shares my passion for mystery meats in a tube."

My second thought -- how many bad wiener jokes can I fit into one blog post? 






On Wiener Wednesday, the second Wednesday of each

month, a group of friends, neighbors, and coworkers in Fort Lauderdale

commune to celebrate their love for mystery meat, domestic beer, and a

healthy competition.

The Russian Trio try out Ryan and Kate McInerny's tapenade.
The Russian Trio try out Ryan and Kate McInerny's tapenade.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor



Guests are asked to bring creative toppings for everyone to slather on their wieners. At the end of the night, votes are cast for the best topping. The wiener (that's one, if you're counting) gets to display the coveted Wiener Wednesday trophy in their home as well as don the official Wiener Wednesday costume at the following month's event...

September winner Lindsay Way with her mother, five-time wiener champ Mary Jane Matthas.
September winner Lindsay Way with her mother, five-time wiener champ Mary Jane Matthas.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor
The Wiener's Cup.
The Wiener's Cup.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor

 

I contacted Kim Cantor, one of the group's organizers, to find out if I could crash this month's event and put everyone to shame with my stellar toppings. Cantor, against her better judgment, gave me the green light, and I spent the next two weeks waiting for Wiener Wednesday like a kid waiting on Christmas Day.

Previous toppings have included items like mango chutney, pulled pork, and tzatziki. It was clear that I would have  to bring my A-game.



Pineapple-cilantro salsa? Eh.

Wasabi mayo, soy sauce, and cabbage? Amateur. 

Foie gras? Pedestrian.
 


Not satisfied with the choices I was coming up with, I did what anyone who hates to lose would do; I cheated. In my shameless attempt to crush the competition, I searched online and stumbled upon a New York dog called the Hong Kong Phooey -- pineapple, bacon, chives, and teriyaki sauce.

The Bangkok.
The Bangkok.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor


After a quick name change to "The Bangkok" and a pit stop at Publix, I was ready to take the crown. 

Or so I thought...

The official Wiener Wednesday toppings board.
The official Wiener Wednesday toppings board.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor



When I arrived, the toppings table was filled with everything from spicy homemade ketchup to pink rose petals. 

Stiff competition -- pink rose petals and Capt N' Crunch chipotle.
Stiff competition -- pink rose petals and Capt N' Crunch chipotle.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor


More unusual toppings with names like "That Looks Like Something I Threw Up" -- a beer, cheese, and pretzel combination -- also graced the table.

The contenders.
The contenders.
Photo:Misha Grosvenor

  
By the end of the night, it was clear that my pathetic ingredients were no match for toppings like Capt' N Crunch chipotle or the winning topping, Hash Brown Surprise, a combination of sour cream, hash browns, cheese, and corn flakes.

The Wiener!
The Wiener!
Photo:Misha Grosvenor


Defeated, I turned to five-time wiener champ and local caterer Mary Jane

Matthas to find out what I

could to do next time to secure the golden weenie trophy. Her secret weapon? A crock pot.

The secret weapon!
The secret weapon!
Photo:Misha Grosvenor


OK, South Florida, help a sister out. What topping ideas do you have  that will help me put the smackdown at next month's Wiener Wednesday?   

Are you an expert weenie topper? Are you the coordinator of a cool potluck group that I can crash? List your topping suggestions and potluck invitations in the comments section
below.




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