Let's face it. Valentine's Day is this big made-up holiday that was invented by the flower, candy and card industries to shame people into buying their crap at least one day out of the year. Sure, the guy you're seeing bought you some candy and took you to Denny's for a romantic Grand Slam last year. But that candy - that innocent box of candy is fraught with more secret meanings than the Mona Lisa. We've decoded some Valentine's Day candy so you'll really know what your lover meant when he gave you those bon bons.
"The bad news it that it's not a rash. The good news is that the doctor says it's easily curable".
"You know that ring you've been waiting for? Here it is".