Tired of your Friday-night outings consisting of dull vodka and sodas or lame syrup-drenched martinis? The irony of the situation is that you waited 21 years to get here. Now that you're an adult, you find yourself making secret pit stops to McDonald's just so you can order a large strawberry shake and then rush back to your mom's pad, where you can lie back on your beloved old futon and watch your favorite reruns of Star Wars -- all while Nirvana is blaring in the background, of course!
Well, I have some good news for you! A few culinary geniuses took some of your childhood favorites and combined them with booze, creating the perfect concoctions of childhood simplicity and adult inebriation! Now you can eat your cake and have a buzz to match. Check out these four fun fantasy infusions.
1. Adult Chocolate Milk
What: Alcohol-infused chocolate milk
Perfect for: barbecues, bachelorette parties, picnics, themed celebrations
Who doesn't like chocolate milk? Now imagine an ice-cold glass of rich, creamy chocolate milk infused with top-quality vodka. Not bad, huh? Fortunately, you don't need to run to your kitchen and attempt to figure out the perfect combination of milk, chocolate, and liquor (trust me, it's harder than it seems).
Tracy Reinhardt and Nikki Halbur reconnected on Facebook years after being friends in high school and eventually became business partners and founders of Adult Chocolate Milk. They actually created 16 different formulas until they got it just right -- bringing the public the perfect balance of 40-proof chocolate milk all bottled up in a cute, retro-inspired glass bottle!
Adult Chocolate Milk will be available to purchase in Florida hopefully by March. Until then, you can easily purchase Adult Chocolate Milk online. Also be on the lookout for flavors such as Adult Orange Cream, Adult Fruit Punch, and Adult Limeade coming out soon.
2. Whipped Lightning
What: The world's first alcohol-infused whipped cream
Perfect for: dessert creations, body shots and bedroom escapades, celebrations
What is light and fluffy, innocently sweet, and still manages to be pleasurably intoxicating? Whipahol! The only question left is: Why didn't they think of this sooner?!
Whipped Lightning comes in nine delicious flavors, including classics such as German Chocolate and Spiced Vanilla as well as more sophisticated flavors such as Amaretto and Hazelnut Espresso, just to name a few. Make sure you check out the official Whipped Lightning website for tempting and creative recipes.
Whipped Lightning is currently available in 14 states and is not yet available in Florida -- in the meantime, you can look forward to enjoying whipahol on your next long weekend out of town.
3. Silver Moon Ice Cream and Sorbets
What: Artisan-liqueur-infused ice cream and sorbets
Perfect for: foodies, entertaining, brunch, Friday-night couch sessions
Sometimes you just have to save the best for last -- meet Silver Moon Ice Cream. Silver Moon ice cream and sorbets were created by entrepreneur Sheri Tate. After a few years of kitchen experimentation and taste-testing parties, Tate fufilled her dreams in bringing us Silver Moon ice cream and sorbets -- and we cannot thank her enough.
Silver Moon has received a noteworthy amount of awards and press and has even recently been recognized by Oprah herself (now you know this stuff must rock!). Silver Moon ice cream and sorbets have ten scrumptious flavors including Praline Irish Cream, Bourbon Vanilla, Lavender Limoncello, and Pomegranate Martini.
Silver Moon is available in fine groceries throughout California and is not yet available in Florida. No worries. You can have Silver Moon ice cream and sorbets delivered to you within 24 hours when you order them online.
And.... Devotion Vodka
What: protein-infused vodka
Perfect for: testosterone-filled Super Bowl parties, athletes, meatheads
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The next time you think twice about having a few drinks in order to preserve the hours you just spent slaving yourself in the gym -- consider Devotion Vodka! Devotion Vodka is infused with a clear protein called Casein, allowing you to be devoted to your body while indulging in your favorite cocktail. Does that even make sense? Well, with Jersey Shore's finest, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino as its new spokesman, I guess it doesn't really need to.
Devotion Vodka is now available in 17 states, including New York, California and New Jersey, of course. With South Florida's hefty party scene consisting of clubgoers, beach bums, bottles and models, and fitness fanatics, it's only a matter of time until Devotion Vodka finds its way down to the Dirty South.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.