Vitamix on SNL: The Epitome of First World Problems (Video)
Once upon a time, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and cell phones did little more than make phone calls, I walked into an Apple store where a "genius" proceeded to ask me a question that's usually used by people who try to sell you flowers, pamphlets, and religions at the airport: "Would you like to see something that will change your life?"
Turns out, the guy wanted to introduce me to something called an "iPad", an expensive mix between a phone and a computer. Several years later, nearly everyone has an iPad, in addition to their phone, laptop, and (possibly) desktop. I do, too.
Expensive gadgets that one really does not need extends into the kitchen. In my own small galley, I have a seltzer maker, an espresso machine, an electric coffee grinder, a microwave with all the bells and whistles, and a plain, ordinary blender. Why no Vitamix, the blender to the stars?
It's not that I don't want one. I've seen the demos and I certainly have "blender envy". It's just that I could never get over the price tag, which approximates two car payments. Even if I could afford it, there's that nagging feeling that I would be a total douche if I spent that amount of money on something that makes smoothies (yes, I know that it does more...but really? It makes smoothies).
Sometimes I have first-world guilt when I wait in line to buy pods for my Ferrari-red espresso machine. Then I say to myself, "at least I didn't spend six hundred bucks on a blender".
This past weekend, Saturday Night Live pretty much nailed the whole debacle in a skit that had host Sarah Silverman and cast member Vanessa Bayer at odds about the new Vitamix Pro Series 750, which carries not only a $650 price tag, but a lot of baggage.
At least juicing with the Vitamix guarantees you'll lose weight. About 130 pounds when your ex-best friend slams the door in your face!
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