Pretty much all worldwide celebrations nowadays involve mass texting. While I'm not an advocate of such a lazy and boring practice, I am a recipient. I expect many at midnight this Friday, December 31.
Maxim has realized the bland mass text craze and created the Champagne Popper -- a free iPhone app that rings in the new year with endless bottle-popping and Jersey Shore club music.
Upon loading, you start to channel your inner Pauly D as house music instantly plays and will continue to instantly play upon each start, unless your phone is actually on silent. The app's option to turn off the music is only until the app restarts. Did that sound annoying? It's because it is.
the actual popping of bottles (cue The Far East Movement any time you're ready). Electronically ripping the foil, shaking the bottle, and then popping it.
By "real," I obviously mean "short-term." It's about as satisfying as accidentally snorting champagne bubbles. Where is that app?!
You can send your friends bottles of champagne at 99 cents a pop (pun
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intended) and set your countdown clock to sync with Facebook and
Twitter, as if sending electronic bottles of champagne to your friends
wasn't annoying enough.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.