Sports

13 Things Dolphins Fans Can Do to Re-Create the Experience of Watching a Dolphins Game During Bye Week

The 2-2 Miami Dolphins are on a bye week this week, which means we have nothing to watch this Sunday. But that doesn't mean you should miss out on the ethereal experience of actually watching a Dolphins game. So, we're here to help. Here are 13 things you can do...
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The 2-2 Miami Dolphins are on a bye week this week, which means we have nothing to watch this Sunday.

But that doesn’t mean you should miss out on the ethereal experience of actually watching a Dolphins game.

So, we’re here to help.

Here are 13 things you can do to re-create watching a Dolphins game when there is none:

1. Ask somebody to punch you in the balls repeatedly

2. Punch yourself in the face over and over again

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3. Go play catch and then drop the ball

4. Walk into a rake over and over

5. Drink heavily

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6. Eat 100 raw oysters
7. And then throw up violently

8. Binge-watch Two and a Half Men for 12 straight hours

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9. And then set yourself on fire
10. Eat a bunch of pretzels without drinking water
11. Fire a cannonball into your stomach
12. Go to the zoo and taunt a gorilla until he throws poop at you

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13. Start a dumpster fire

Send your story tips to the author, Chris Joseph.

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter


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