Critic's Notebook

Five Songs That Could Use a Turkey Cameo

Remixes are aplenty for the holiday season. Sort of like an early holiday present that has already been regifted, rarely do the reworking resonate as much as the original -- until now. Throw the bird (not Birdman) on a sagging track, and it's bound to get better. Now let's get...
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Remixes are aplenty for the holiday season. Sort of like an early holiday present that has already been regifted, rarely do the reworking resonate as much as the original — until now. Throw the bird (not Birdman) on a sagging track, and it’s bound to get better. Now let’s get down to the Turkey Turntable.

Below, we’ve assembled five songs best remixed and sung by a turkey.

Lady GaGa’s “Bad Romance – Clearly, any Lady GaGa song would do,

but we think this particular selection would do very well, namely its

chorus. Think “rah, rah, ah, ah, ah/ Roma, roma, ma/ Gaga, ooh la la”

with guest vocals by the bird. Genius.

Lil Wayne and Drake “Over

– We could all use a break from the Drake/Lil Wayne combo. How about

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dubbing in some clucks for “I know way too many people right here that I

didn’t know last year/ Who the f*ck are y’all/ I swear it feels like

the last few nights we’ve been everywhere and back but I just can’t

remember it all/ What am I doing/ What am I doing?” What are you doing

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Wayne? You’re gettin’ clucked the f*ck up, son!

Ke$ha “Blah Blah Blah

– This one’s just too easy. Let’s give the turkey some auto-tune on

this track, and then maybe we would be able to make it through the first

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minute or so? Getting with white trash pop stars and turkeys are

basically the same idea, only the cooked bird doesn’t cackle back.

David Guetta “Gettin’ Over You

– The perfect dance track for an electro Thanksgiving dinner, the high

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pitch of Guetta’s whine is best replaced with the repetitive “gobble.”

If you’re feeling especially festive, pick up a drumstick and get your

Karaoke on.

Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston “Eenie Meenie

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– The title is just crying for a cackle. A raspy, throaty turkey

stand-in really gives this one some added depth. Beiber versus the

turkey, which version would you prefer? This calls for an “Eenie Meenie

Miny Moe” decision of its very own. Tough call.

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