Audio By Carbonatix
See also:
Five Reasons He Should Have Cheated First
Fifty Shades of Grey Scenes That Could Have Saved the Relationship (NSFW)
The RPatz/KStew relationship drama continues to unfold quicker than Edward could save Bella from the Volturi. (If you don’t get the reference, you might not want to pass go.)
As the Cosmopolis premiere gets closer (August 13!) it’s been reported that Miss Stewart has been banned from attending. Take that you trampire!
We read that recently the brooding vampire has allegedly been doing some serious drunk dialing. Can you blame him? Hell, we’ve all been there. And you know drunk dialing doesn’t come without some seriously regrettable texts.
While these may not actually be the messages he sent to KStew, we can pretty much imagine how it all went down. Enjoy our list of drunk texts that we think Robert Pattinson probably would’ve sent to Kristen Stewart.
Text Message 1: “Remember when I said UR like my own personal brand of heroin? FU. I lied.” (10:30 p.m.)
Text Message 2: “I’m not losing any sleep over this.” (10:33 p.m.)
Text Message 3: “I wish U woulda picked the werewolf.” (10:40 p.m.)
Text Message 3: “Was it my cold skin? U said the sparkles were beautiful.” (10:43 p.m.)
Text Message 4: “Rosalie was right. I should have let that van hit you.” (11:15 p.m.)
Text Message 5: “Did you ask him to do vampire role-play too?” (11:25 p.m.)
Text Message 6: “BUT U SAID THE SPARKLES WERE BEAUTIFUL” (12:30 a.m.)
Text Message 7: “UR BLOOD TASTED LIKE SHIT AND BETRAYAL” (12:32 a.m.)
Text message 8: “WHY RU NOT REPLY? RU HAVIN A 7 DWARF GANG BANG?” (1:00 a.m.)
Text message 9: “TRAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPIRRRRRREEE” (1:02 a.m.)
Text message 10: “KSCREWYOU.” (1:03 a.m.)
