Audio By Carbonatix
What’s in a name? For some people, a whole lotta nothing. Take, for example, musicians Marshall Mathers and Elgin Lumpkin. They weren’t marketable with the name mom gave ’em, so they upgraded to Eminem and Ginuwine.
Likewise, Broward County commissioners and the Sun-Sentinel‘s Michael Mayo think we might be better off with a change to Lauderdale County. No doubt Broward
County is not sexy. But Lauderdale County is?
So if our commissioners insist a
name change is the way to go, here are our suggestions.
4. Blotterdale County
Named, of course, for our city’s love of all things drug-related. We’re
sure all those
acid-taking, hippie-chic clubbers will support it. And it
even rhymes with Lauderdale. See? Now wasn’t that easy?
3.
Gaydardale County
Fort
Lauderdale has long been known as the
premier vacation destination for the LGBT community, so it’s only
fitting that we pay homage to the lifestyle. After all, the Fort
Lauderdale port was
the first to say “bon voyage” to the world’s
largest gay and lesbian cruise charter February 6. Don’t hate it.
Embrace it, Gaydardale.
2. Oxy
County
Nothing is more appropriate than referencing
Oxycontin, the pill of choice for pill mill clientele. Good thing,
because
we have more pain clinics within our county limits than any other
Florida county — or the entire country, for that matter. Go us!
1. BroCo
If you’re heading
down to Himmarshee in your pimped-out Chrysler 300, wearing your best Ed
Hardy, planning for a night of fist bumps and booty grabs, what better
name is there to represent the 954? BroCo, bro.
Follow The Juice on Twitter: @TheJuiceBPB.
