They strike studly poses for this calendar every year, and every year it seems their chests get shinier and their dispositions register more longing. (Oh Mr. July, your eyes have such a sadness to them; let me help you heal!) You come out on top, looking like a good guy for buying the damn thing and then having them autograph it. See, calendar proceeds all go to charitable causes, like curing your sexual frustration, especially since renting a fireman suit for your boyfriend costs so darn much (and the axe is made of plastic whatever). As an added bonus, after the firemen receive carpal tunnel from signing hundreds of calendars and are rendered incapable of ever again climbing a ladder, each will take turns hypnotizing you with his sweetest dance floor gyrations. By that time, you will most certainly have consumed enough free beer to shout something perverse. If you cant come up with anything good on the fly, heres a list of sexually charged words to get you started: pole, climb, ladder, dripping, heat, big red truck, raise, rescue, flames, resuscitate. Now go get your yearly fix. Call 954-423-1990, or visit www.roundupcountry.com.