Because Lumberjacks Are Tough Dudes

We here at New Times don’t exercise. But if we did, we’d have a really badass regimen – like pushing two-ton trucks down a track, lugging massive, wooden logs, or deftly flipping heavy tires with a flick of our well-toned arms. Basically, we’d model our routine after the Ultimate Athletic Competition at Quiet Waters Park (401 S. Powerline Rd., Deerfield Beach). Because those competitors define badass.

The annual competition draws South Florida’s heartiest folk – lumberjacks, mountain men, and strongwomen, we assume – for a day that reads like an octathelon for superheroes: Aside from the aforementioned truck push, tire flip, and log lift, there’s a 1.5-mile run, an off-road bike course, swimming and kayaking time trials, and a farmer’s carry. The extreme events are done back-to-back with a brief five-minute interval between, so only the well-trained need apply. Iron men and women looking to test their mettle (har har) in individual or team competition can register by calling 954-360-1315, or visiting www.active.com. Fees start at $25.
Sat., Nov. 10, 2007

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John Linn