Best of the Worst

Woe unto the Marlins fan! A recent issue of ESPN The Magazine determined, in its periodic wisdom, that among the 122 major sports teams in the United States and Canada, the worst “stadium experience” belongs to none other than the Marlins.

Now, setting aside that the Marlins are one of the last baseball teams playing in a football facility (and one even named for its roommate NFL team), and that team ownership has been giving Miami and the state a decade-long tittie-twister over financing a new ballpark, there’s still plenty to suggest that actually attending a Marlins game is not the worst fate available in North American sport. Consider the abundance of nachos, frozen lemonade and cold suds, the latter advertised by a man wearing a colorful elephant hat thusly: “BEE-ah HEE-ah!” (Seriously, kids love that one.) With perennial attendance figures among the lowest anywhere, entire sections are often available for day-of-game purchase. The HD video board is the biggest in baseball, perfect for replays of opposing teams’ homers. And soon, the Milwaukee Brewers come for a three-game set; the Marlins’ previous with them, in Milwaukee, saw all three games decided by a run apiece, with the Marlins winning two in 10 innings. Drag you out to the ol’ ball game this Wednesday at 7:10 p.m. at Dolphin Stadium (2269 NW 199th St., Miami). Tickets start at $9, and are available at, or by calling Ticketmaster at 954-523-3309.
Wed., May 14, 2008

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Sam Eifling
Contact: Sam Eifling