Damn You, Rooney

If Andy Rooney were doing commentary for the 2007 Winterfest Boat Parade, it would sound something like this: “Have you ever wondered why people on boats always wave at the people on shore? It’s like they’re saying, ‘Hey, we’re on a boat, and you’re not.’ Why not just blow kisses at the folks on land? At least then they’d know there were no hard feelings. But then, I never understood boats to begin with. I can walk faster, and it’s better exercise. I’m old.”

Luckily, Andy Rooney has nothing to do with the 36th incarnation of the Boat Parade. It’ll be up to you and your cohorts to scrutinize the millions of dollars worth of watercraft and their human ornaments cruising from the fork of the New River to the Intracoastal Waterway at Atlantic Boulevard. Any spot along the route will be prime hand-waving real estate, but you can cop seats at the Tostitos Grandstand Viewing Area at Birch State Park (3109 E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) for $20 each. You can also walk into the park for $2 and try to find a viewing area of your own. The parade starts at 6:30 p.m. Visit www.winterfestparade.com.
Sat., Dec. 15, 2007

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John Linn