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Do the Brew

The wildlife is tough for a real party animal. One time, our friend the zebra walked into a bar and asked, “Can I get a red stripe?” The bartender looked up and said, “We don’t serve Jamaicans here.” We got a llama to spit in his face. So far, we’ve learned never to pay an elephant’s bar tab, that New Guinea Singing Dogs suck at karaoke, and that, no matter how sexy the legs on that gazelle are, her morning breath will damned near kill you. But every year, we look forward to our great migration south, to the greatest watering hole in the county, “Brew at the Zoo at ZooMiami” (12400 SW 152nd St., Miami). There are unlimited beers and malt beverages from the greatest companies from around the world, tons of grub, and a chance to show off your new mating ritual. And as soon as you start feeling like you’re in a real animal house, Otis Day and the Knights hit the stage and make you wanna shout like you’re getting wasted with Belushi. Only a New Times paper could throw a party this good — thanks, Miami! Let’s see whose heart pumps tiger blood. Tickets cost $30 for general admission, $70 for VIP, and it all goes down from 6 to 11 p.m. Saturday. Drink responsibly; catch the Coral Reef Max from Dadeland South Metrorail. Call 305-251-0400, or visit MiamiNewTimes.com.
Sat., April 30, 6 p.m., 2011
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Jacob Katel

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