Dolphins Flop, but Panthers Growl

Seriously kids, the Dolphins aren’t giving you much to scream for this season, so this is a call to arms for sports fans: Redirect your cheering efforts to hockey. Our Panthers are lookin’ good, and their shortcomings (the boys have been a bit slow in the early periods) will hopefully be nipped in the bud from the team’s recent excursion to West Point. See, the higher-ups wanted to curtail the offense’s sluggishness and increase team building (Olli can’t do everything), so they scooped the boys up and literally dropped them off at boot camp. Our Panthers spent long nights rescuing lost “soldiers” from pitch-black swamps while combat officers taunted them, so should the ice be thin and the opposing crowd be especially violent – they’ll know exactly what to do.

The team’s strength lies in closing the deal during those final, nailbiting minutes, so if the West Point mission is a success, our Panthers could dominate the division – and, yeah, I’m gonna say it – the league. You can watch the Panthers brutalize the Jersey Devils during their second home game of the season on Thursday at Bank Atlantic Center (2555 Panther Pkwy., Sunrise) and cop a feel on that frisky mascot to boot. Tickets cost $17 for the rafters and then go way, way up as players become visible to the naked eye. Puck drops at 7:30 p.m.
Thu., Oct. 11, 7:30 p.m., 2007

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Jamie Laughlin