Episode XII: A New Raw

The Writers’ Guild strike sweeping Hollywood is bound to adversely affect a whole host of our favorite television programs, from the The Daily Show to Maury. Fortunately for fans of the WWE, their favorite sports opera, Monday Night Raw, will be just fine.

Not convinced? Consider this bizarre, straight-from-the-depths sequence from last Monday’s Raw: WWE’s most beloved tag team, Shawn Michaels and Triple H, hopped into the ring to rile-up fans with their classic mantra “Suck it.” Moments later, a leprechaun named Hornswaggle emerged from under the ring and begged for the duo’s help. He was scared of a monster who also lived under there, a grizzled dude who was going ballistic about Hornswaggle and his Irish jigging. The two heroes obliged the little man, signing on as his protector. But it turned out that the monster was actually a wrestler called the Boogie Man, known for eating live earthworms. Uh huh. Then the 7-foot-3, 420-pound Great Khali showed up, and the entire group decided, for some reason, to unite and go “Suck it” together. And thus, the plotline for the next three weeks was born. Writers’ strike, be damned!

The story continues at 8 p.m. Monday at the BankAtlantic Center (1 Panther Way, Sunrise), one night after the WWE Survivor Series ravages Miami. D-Generation X, Randy Orton, and that feisty little Hornswaggle himself will be getting writerly on your ass starting at $20. Call 954-523-3309, or visit www.ticketmaster.com.
Mon., Nov. 19, 2007

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John Linn