Funky Monkey

Baboons defy classification but demand attention

SAT 1/15

Reviewers have struggled to classify the music of the Baboons ever since the band premiered a decade ago. "Spicy rhythmic gumbo!" said one. "Afro-Cuban funk and roll!" declared another. "Urban-tribal funk," one more dribbled. And so on. Would it help if we added, "the Baboons are what the Miami Sound Machine would sound like if the Miami Sound Machine didn't suck?" Whatever. Look, we all know that there are two forces at work today in American music -- the Homogenizers, whose aim is to commodify and Britney-fy everything you listen to, and the Resistance, who, in the pursuit of something new and original, defy the convenience of labels. The Baboons are the percussive commando unit of the Resistance.

They were originally into performance art and experimenting with percussive styles and spoken word poetry, but the Baboons have evolved into masters of reggae, blues, and Cuban funk; added a sexy vocalista; released two CDs; and forged a new genre-busting style of Floridian music. The primates perform their eclectic, rhythmic, combustible Afro-Cuban-Floridian music at Alligator Alley (1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park) at 9 p.m. Saturday. Call 954-771-2220, or visit -- Jeff Megahan

Paint It, Orange

New venue for the kids

SAT 1/15

If you're still mourning the loss of Lake Park's Kelsey Club, which closed last November, dry your tears and head over to the newly opened Orange Door (798 Tenth St., Lake Park). To kick off its first month in business, the club is having a jam-packed inaugural show this Saturday afternoon. Club owner James Noble says that while the venue will regularly hold rock shows, it's designed as a black box theater, ripe for plays, improv comedy shows, and even -- yep -- wedding receptions. What, you think that rent's gonna pay itself? Saturday's lineup includes Words Now Heard, Hearts Over Rome, Glory Bullfighter, the Trophy Year, Fallen From the Sky, Mason, Odd Man Out, Frame for Alexandra, Lost Remainder, Carter Beats the Devil, Monday Morning Mixtape, Ambridge, and A Day to Remember. The show starts at 4 p.m. and costs $8. Call 561-842-7949, or visit -- Jason Budjinski

Ass-Eaters, Unite

Bob Levy is suuuuch a gentleman

FRI 1/14

Reverend Bob Levy's claim to fame is that he "eats ass" on stage. If that's funny to you, you're probably completely immune to my sermonizing about how Levy brings new meaning to the word tasteless. ("In Philly," he said, describing his ass-munching exploits, "this chink broad came up and I didn't notice, but she had a string hanging out the front.") You probably also listen to the Howard Stern show, on which Levy appears regularly. You might also be amused when Levy says he drinks "like [he's] going to fuck a fat chick." And you might actually want to see Levy perform at the New York Comedy Club (8221 Glades Rd., Boca Raton) Friday and Saturday with fellow Stern hangers-on Sal the Stockbroker and High Pitch Eric. Ladies, if Levy calls you up on-stage, we warn you: Politely decline. And everybody, try not to barf. Call 561-470-6887. -- Deirdra Funcheon

You Arrrre So Beautiful

TUE 1/18

Did you snicker when Joe Cocker, who performed at Woodstock, got all soft and warbled "Up Where We Belong"? Well, Cocker snickers back at you from his gigantic manor on 160 acres in Crawford, Colorado, where he raises Ankole Watusi cattle and championship horses. Mr. Successful comes to the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale) tonight. Tickets cost $35 to $55. Call 954-462-0222, or visit -- Deirdra Funcheon

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Deirdra Funcheon
Jason Budjinski
Jeff Megahan