If I Was Royalty in a Past Life, Why Do I Live in This Dump?

Since no existing church was privy to Sylvia Browne’s personal Godly revelations, she did what any good celebrity psychic would do: she took the bull by its spiritual horns and founded her own. Within the confines of The Society of Novus Spiritus ™, only she and the Lord are in charge.

Its mission is to enlighten individuals on how to perfect “the innate, God-given beauty of the Soul” through tools like hypnosis, by rummaging through past lives, and in communicating with those beyond this brick-and-mortar realm. Sure, traditional clergymen might bristle at the idea, but Browne promises to guide you through the enlightenment process -- just as she does on the Montel Williams Show – for the low, non-refundable price of $750 dollars per phone reading.

If that seems a bit out of your budget, you can see her live tonight during her farewell tour at the Seminole Casino in Coconut Creek (5550 NW 40 St., Coconut Creek) for $30. Before you shell for a ticket, read testimonials celebrating her talents at Sylvia.org, and testimonials from individuals who felt emotionally grifted by their Browne experience at stopsylviabrowne.com. To purchase tickets, call 954-977-6700, or visit seminolecoconutcreekcasino.com.
Tue., Sept. 29, 8 p.m., 2009

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Jamie Laughlin