J-A-G-E-R-M… Ah, Screw It

Any douchebag with nothing better to do can yell out correct answers during reruns of the classic Scripps Spelling Bees of yore (praise be to ESPN for covering all such non-sporty competitions). It takes a real top-notch wordsmith superstar to step up to the mike, give a decisive throat-clear, and w-i-n without even having to ask for a word to be repeated or used in a sentence. You probably couldn’t perform under that kind of pressure — or could you? What if the tension was ratcheted up by the kind of peer pressure that only a drinking game can provide? Just imagine the hijinks if those middle-schoolers on your telly had just slugged back a shot of booze!

If you think you could not only (a) take one of those baby geniuses out with your mastery of the English language, but (b) drink their sorry asses under the table, we invite you to put up or shut up at the monthly Drunken Spelling Bee at Purdy Lounge (1811 Purdy Avenue , Miami Beach). For every word spelled correctly, you get a shot of Jager. The winner gets a $50 bar tab, and bragging rights with anyone within earshot. The shenanigans take place every first Sunday of the month; they start around 10:30 p.m. Call 305-531-4622.
Sun., June 1, 10:30 p.m., 2008

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Patrice Elizabeth Grell Yursik