Just Super

One thing you can say consistently about Super Bowls, especially since around XXVI or so, is the high quality of the commercials in between all the action. Not soon will gridiron fans forget the simple pleasure of offering your deluded buddy, already into you for a few hundred bucks on the game, the opportunity to win some of it back on a Bud Bowl side bet. And will football enthusiasts casually toss aside the warm memory of that hot chip girl, so dexterously catching Doritos on the fly? Not likely, we say. And so it becomes obvious that the Super Bowl season is not about the spirit of teamwork or competition or whether your team wins or loses or even how they play the game. The Super Bowl is all about wanton, rampant commercialism.

Thus, in the spirit of the season, New Times offers you a little shameless self-promotion this week by recommending you take your pigskin down to the 2nd and Long New Times Super Bowl Block Party. Sure, the Dolphins disintegrated once again. And, yes, the playoffs were rife with bad-call controversy. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be at the biggest Super Bowl party in the city come game day.

Starting at noon on Sunday, downtown Fort Lauderdale transforms into a hard-hitting block party, with big-screen TVs and couches littering SW Second Street in Himmarshee Village. More than 20 bars and restaurants cater to your eating and drinking needs. This being the Big Day, those needs should fall somewhere between those of Henry VIII and John Madden -- ah, if only those freakish, multilegged turkeys were real, John.

Should the game not proceed to your liking, abandon your couch for the Gamestop Hummer. After getting your mind out of the gutter and zipping up your fly, you'll want to check out the six video-game stations, featuring the latest in XBox, PlayStation 2, and Gamecube entertainment. But wait! That's not all! Sure, that'd be a first down of a football party, but New Times settles for nothing less than the win. Like coach used to say in high school, "Tying is like kissing your sister." And so, partygoers can also register to win heaps of prizes, including signed football memorabilia (which you can then use to taunt your jock friends) and even a scooter from SkooterZ of Deerfield Beach (which you can hide from them, you scooter-driving nancy). Should the winning name be one other than yours, fear not. Concert tickets, movie passes, and T-shirts will be given away like they're going out of style -- but seriously, when is a New Times T-shirt out of style?

Once the last field goal has been kicked, your team has lost, and you're ready to go out and punch someone's teeth in, take out those alcohol-fueled aggressions on the dance floor. The after-party party at Starbar (what used to be the Chili Pepper patio, for those who don't get out to Himmarshee too often) features a guest DJ from Party 93.1. As for the after-after-party party, well, that's up to you.

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Dan Sweeney
Contact: Dan Sweeney