New Age for Dummies

TUE 6/17

The Florida Center for the Book has offered up-and-coming authors many opportunities in the past few months. Workshops have covered such topics as how to write for children, for example. But if children prove too incredulous for your writing, there's always "How to Write for the New-Age Market," which takes place at the Broward County Main Library (100 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale) this Tuesday and Wednesday. New Zealand native Richard Webster, who has penned such enlightening tomes as Practical Guide to Past Life Memories: Twelve Proven Methods, 101 Feng Shui Tips for the Home, and Playing Card Divination for Beginners: Fortune Telling with Ordinary Cards, "facilitates" the two-day workshop, which runs 6:45 to 8:45 p.m. both days. You'll learn all the ways in which you too can bilk the unwary for easy cash by writing about all of the amazing "proven" ways in which they can foresee the future, commune with their dead relatives, and even rearrange the furniture in their home for luck and profit. Feng shui's gotta work, after all -- it's an ancient Chinese method, and when we think of China, don't we all think of unbridled wealth? The course costs $50 in advance, $55 at the door. Call 954-357-7404. -- Dan Sweeney

THU 6/12
Just the Artifacts, Please

Do you have an artifact? A Japanese artifact? And you don't know where it came from or what it's worth, and it's keeping you up at night, leaving you tossing and turning as you awaken from a nightmare of being buried alive by spider monkeys? Yeah? Well, Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens (4000 Morikami Park Rd., Delray Beach) can help you. They offer an "Ask the Expert" lecture series on Japanese artifacts. Senior Curator Tom Gregersen's got the skills to uncover the mystery of your artifacts. You could be holding a damn treasure in your hands right now. What are you waiting for? Museum admission plus $5 for up to three items. Starts at 2 p.m. Call 561-495-0233, ext. 207. -- Audra Schroeder

SUN 6/15

Jerry Speziale don't need no steenking badges

You know that "Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon" cop? You probably think those types of guys are relegated solely to the silver screen, right? Well, maybe not. Jerry Speziale was one such cop. After a few years on the New York City police force, he was tapped to become world-class cocaine smuggler "Geraldo Bartone." What followed were years of piloting planes, skippering yachts, building landing strips, and just generally ingratiating himself to the unforgiving murderers of the Cali cartel. Dozens of arrests and the seizure of 22,000 pounds of cocaine resulted, leaving half of South Beach crying into its collective pillows. Speziale, it almost goes without saying, wrote a book about his experiences. The man appears at Borders Books and Music (9887 Glades Rd., Boca Raton) at 3 p.m. to discuss and sign Without a Badge: Undercover in the World's Deadliest Criminal Organization. Call 561-883-5854. -- Dan Sweeney

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