Santa Clauses Are Taking Over Town

Imagine Fort Lauderdale at Christmas. The weather being cold but incredibly tolerable compared to what our Northern states are facing. For our Santacon, we get to strut through the unsnowed streets. We get to ride on a water taxi because our waters aren’t frozen. Are we going to spread holiday cheer? Fuck yeah, we are. Because when we get to dress up in Christmas costumes, we don’t have to wear five overcoats over our Santa threads. Frosty the Snowman could be a fit snow guy and not bulge around the middle because we can leave that down comforter at home. At 5 p.m., start at Briny’s Riverfront Pub (305 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Wearing costumes is the point of Santacon: All those who dress in holiday gear will score drink specials at participating bars. Dress as Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, an elf, or any merry holiday spirit. Since the mob will be jolly, you must be Rudolph after he gains his sense of self or Ebeneezer Scrooge postmetamorphorsis. If you’re Elf à la Will Ferrell, focus on how he felt when he met Zooey Deschanel and not when his father kicked him to the curb. If you’re on crutches, it’s a given, you’re being Tiny Tim. Be Santa’s little helper (an elf), Santa’s little helper (Santa’s kept woman), or Santa’s Little Helper (The Simpsons’ dog). Bring candy canes, chocolate coins, things to make bubbles. Next on the Santacon bar tour will be a water taxi ride leaving Riverfront at 6:30 and at 7:30 p.m. for $7. You can also take the Nautibus shuttle for $3. Santas will be taking over the seas and cruise to Bahia Mar. Then comes the cheery march over to Bierbrunnen (427 S. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). This will be the second meeting point, so any late Santas and their friends should show up there between 8 and 9 p.m. The holiday hoots and naughty-carol singing will be heard along the beach all the way up to Beach Place, where the Nautibus will transport groups between 10 to 11 p.m. to Las Olas Boulevard near Mangos. Cheer will then be spread throughout the trek back to Riverfront, where the grand joyous finale will be at America’s Backyard. There will be a collection for Toys for Tots at Briny’s. Visit
Sat., Dec. 18, 5 p.m., 2010
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Mickie Centrone