The New Jordan Rule: Shut Up!

We love Michael Jordan in Miami. So much so, in fact, that we took the extraordinary step of retiring his Airness’ jersey in our own arena, even though his only lasting legacy in our city was sweeping the Miami Heat out of its first playoff series in 1992. No worries. We wanted to be like Mike. And we welcomed him when he became a part-time resident, when he hooked up with one of our own Cubanitas, and even when he started stalking the beach like many other creepy retired athletes. But Michael mistook our magnanimity for apathy. And now he’s going to pay LePiper.

Jordan joined the chorus of naysayers in criticizing our triumvirate of all triumvirates. He badmouthed LeBron, and by extension Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, the entire Heat franchise, and even the mystery-meat peddlers outside of the arena. And when Jordan, the owner, and his new team the Charlotte Bobcats (Really? Have you seen a bobcat? It’s just a pointy ear away from being a tabby!) come to the Triple A (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) on Monday, you can forget about it being just another preseason game. Whether Michael is in the house or not and whether the Holy Trinity plays for more than a quarter, believe this: There will be a smackdown. The game starts at 7:30 p.m., and tickets start at $10. Visit ticketmaster.com.
Mon., Oct. 18, 7:30 p.m., 2010

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Sebastian Del Mármol