The Poontang Declamation

Third Wave feminists said it was reactionary and anti-male. Conservatives said it promoted the rape of young girls by bull dykes. We say only that it’s the most you’ll ever learn about a cooter without a hand mirror. It’s The Vagina Monologues, that ever-morphing collection of speeches, stories, riffs, and polemics about women and their holiest of holies, written by Second Wave Feminist and first-rate bitch extraordinaire, Eve Ensler. And yes, of course it’s anti-male: Ensler’s obsession is violence against women, and her play describes men at their brutish worst (though the man in the monologue “He Liked To Look At It” does a very nice thing for his girlfriend’s self-esteem by staring lovingly at what she theretofore believed to be her ass-ugly ladytaco). And yes, of course it promotes statutory rape: in the original script, the monologue entitled “The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could” featured a woman fondly recalling her molestation, at age 13, by an adult lesbo. But really — so what? Why not? It’s art, for fuck’s sake, and if you can’t handle these things on a stage then how exactly are you supposed to reconcile yourself with the awkward truth that somewhere out there, in the big ghastly world, all of this is happening for real, right now? It’ll be impossible. So, you know, catch it at Sol while you can.

The Vagina Monologues shows Saturday and Sunday and runs through April 26 at the Sol Theatre Project, located at 1140 N. Flagler Drive in Fort Lauderdale. Tickets cost $20 to $30, and you can find out how to get them by calling 954-801-9207, or visiting soltheatre.com.
Saturdays, Sundays. Starts: April 12. Continues through June 6, 2009