Stop asking head coach Nick Saban which quarterback will start when the Miami Dolphins play the Atlanta Falcons in tonight's preseason finale. Speaking after the Fins won last Sunday's game against the Tampa Bay Bucs (17-14), Saban said, "I am not going to comment on and worry about who or when the starter is because the bottom line is, like every Dolphins fan, everybody that I know and everybody that works in this building wants to play the quarterback that is going to give us the best opportunity to win." But don't be surprised if you see Gus Frerotte and A. J. Feeley politely encouraging one another onto the field at the beginning of the game. ("You go first"; "No, after you. I insist.") Saban said, "It has seemed the entire preseason, whichever quarterback played second has played best." Scope the action at Dolphins Stadium (2269 NW 199th St., Miami). Some starts that we can tell you about: the game starts at 7:30 p.m. and tickets start at $25. Call 954-835-TEAM, or visit www.miamidolphins.com. (DF)
FRI 2
It's not a joke: a giant club (capacity: 2,500!) is opening in the heart of Pompano Beach. You might scoff at blue-haired neighbors and the cheesy strip-mall locale of Club Cinema (3251 N. Federal Hwy., Pompano Beach) -- if its staff hadn't already one-upped you by booking imminent shows with Hanson, Bauhaus, Pennywise, and Zakk Wylde. Tonight, however, the rock is out and the dance is in; DJs Eric Passin and T. Todd spin house and hip-hop all night long. The evening is dubbed "X-rated Ladies Night" and females drink free from 9 to 11 p.m. Call 954-785-5224, or visit www.clubcinemaflorida.com. (DF)
SAT 3
He's a New York Times best-selling author. He directed the 2004 drama Behind the Smile. He wrote and starred in his own ABC sitcom. And yet, many people still remember him for playing a disabled superhero on Fox's In Living Color. Yep, it's Damon Wayans, and he's in town for a night of standup at the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts (701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach). It's probably safe to say Wayans won't be doing any "Handiman" or "Men on Film" bits. But that's just as well, because that was a long time ago; his comedy has grown past the obvious gay jokes. Now Wayans has the flexibility (read: star power) to do what he wants, comically speaking. And as a divorced dad, Wayans has enough material to write a book. Oh, wait... he did that already. Guess it's time to hit the stage, huh? Wayans performs at 8 tonight Tickets cost $15 to $75. Call 561-832-7469, or visit www.kravis.org. (JB)
SUN 4
If the Hollywood City Commission is still worried about indecency overrunning the city's nightlife, they'd do well to steer clear of the Zaraka Lounge (715 S. 21th Ave., Hollywood) tonight. But for those with a more developed funny bone, this is the place to be tonight as Jackie "the Joke Man" Martling yuks it up in his famously filthy manner. Since departing from the former Howard Stern Show a few years ago, Martling has appeared in a few movies here and there. However, his latest foray into film couldn't have been more fitting: Martling is one of the envelope-pushing comics in The Aristocrats, the movie that tells the world's dirtiest joke -- over and over. Martling performs after opener Bruce Smirnoff kicks things off at 10 p.m. Tickets cost $25. Call 954-966-6669, or visit www.zaraka.com. (JB)
MON 5
Well, Katrina's wrath was good for one thing: waves. You need only look on websites like shrimpcreole.com or jupitersurf.com to see some of last week's grade-A local swells and the surfers who dared to ride them. For the first time in a very long, flat summer, the Jupiter Noserider Surf Club will have something gnarly to talk about at its monthly gathering. Its members will also watch a sneak preview of a soon-to-be-released surf film. Join in the lineup (at the bar) at 7:30 p.m. at the Jupiter Crabhouse Restaurant (corner of A1A and US1, Jupiter). Call 561-339-1817, or visit www.jupitersurf.com. (DF)
TUE 6
Today brings a double-dose of good news for fans of Gainesville's Against Me! Not only is the eclectically punkish foursome coming to town for a show at Respectable Street (518 Clematis St., West Palm Beach), but today is the scheduled release date for their new album, Searching for a Former Clarity. Taking the finer aspects of punk, alt-country, and hardcore, Against Me! offers a refreshingly passionate voice in a time when indie-rock has been muddled by mediocrity. Such mediocrity is taken to task on songs like "Don't Lose Touch" -- a smart, self-conscious anthem that takes the piss out of trendy art-rock bands. The steady guitar line, sing-alongy chorus, and the gruff, powerful vocals of Thomas Gabel add an extra sense of urgency. This is a band that truly cares. Who says punk is dead? Against Me! takes the stage after the Exit and William Elliott Whitmore open at 6:30 p.m. Tickets to the all-ages show cost $10. Call 561-832-9999, or visit www.slammie.com. (JB)
WED 7
It's not like we need a whole lot of afghan blankets in this 90-degree heat. But really, it's the hip factor that counts. When the folks who run "Stitch & Bitch" knitting sessions tell us that knitting is "yoga for the brain," we know we better skim the latest copy of the New Yorker, put on our favorite Urban Outfitters getup, and trot down to the Yarn Tree (2000-3 Harrison St., Hollywood). Its website describes the store as "an open, warm environment where strangers become family, and people learn from one another. At The Yarn Tree we take pride in combining ultra hip yarns with the latest fashion trends." The company also offers classes like "Begin to Knit," "Learn to Crochet," and "Socks." Look for upcoming special events like a "Purl Jam Knit-A-Thon" and a "Loop-d-Loop trunk show." Tonight's "Stitch & Bitch" lasts from 5:30 to 8 p.m. Call 954-921-1160, or visit www.theyarntree.net. (DF)
