It's been a while since comic Tracy Morgan has had a steady gig. After ending an eight-year stint as a regular on Saturday Night Live, Morgan has starred in a failed sitcom (The Tracy Morgan Show), lent his voice to a prank-calling puppet (Crank Yankers), and, most recently, played small roles in two feature films (Are We There Yet? and The Longest Yard). So it's a good thing Morgan has stuck with standup comedy -- it's what he does best, aping everyone from Marion Barry to Maya Angelou (not to mention inventing his own ridiculous made-up characters). Star Jones Reynolds impersonations: good; playing a sitcom dad: not so good. Morgan performs Thursday through Sunday at the Palm Beach Improv at CityPlace (550 S. Rosemary Ave., Ste. 250, West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $21.30. Call 561-833-1812, or visit www.palmbeachimprov.com. (JB)
FRI 29
Every year, as the Annual Pineapple Grove Bed Race prepares to take over downtown Delray Beach, you make plans to enter. And every year, without fail, you chicken out. Tonight, you have yet another chance to put up or shut up (or lie down or sit down, as it were). If your only fear is ruining that Sealy Posturepedic mattress you're still paying off, worry no more; beds are provided for all participants. Teams race two at a time, as four runners wheel the bed operator through the obstacle course known as Second Avenue. The more wildly decorated the bed, the better. The event kicks off at 5:30 p.m. with a parade along Atlantic and Second avenues. The race takes place from 6 to 8 p.m., followed by an awards ceremony and a street dance. Call 561-279-9952, or visit www.downtownDelrayBeach.com. (JB)
SAT 30
Sure, you could stay home and twiddle your knob tonight... or you can truck down to Sonar Nite Club (2006 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood) and let the professionals do it. British drum 'n' bass DJs Quiff and Paul -- known together as Total Science -- play a rare live set on this side of the pond. They told an online d'n'b 'zine that in the studio, they break down responsibilities like this: "Quiff makes the tunes while Paul downloads porn." As far as their live sets, "Due to the fact we love all aspects of d&b, you can expect us to play wot ever takes our fancy. Obviously, if the job in hand is to rock a rave, we rock it. If it's treating people to an up-front selection of the latest liquid, we have the tools to do that too... One constant, though: We're normally licked up to the complete and utter back nines." The party is supported by some eight other DJs. Admission is $15. Call 954-920-8777. (DF)
SUN 31
You thought Fort Lauderdale's bar scene pretty much had it all. There was Hooters, with its half-dressed waitresses. There was Shooters, with its hot-body contests by the pool. There was Dicey Riley's, with its fine bartenders and a fire engine that honks. But alas! There was a void! Liquordale lacked a club with cherry blossom trees and a 30-foot-tall elephant (built by Disney) inside! Until China White (109 SW Second Ave., Fort Lauderdale) -- a Moroccan-style lounge that opened a few months ago -- filled in the blank. The club has recently instituted "Celebrity Sundays." We wouldn't take that too lightly, considering that the club's part-owners just sold their house to one Shaquille O'Neal. They know people. Call 954-759-7047. (DF)
MON 1
If you haven't yet made it out to the Perrier French Film Festival at Cinema Paradiso (503 SE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale), well, excusez-moi, but you must be some kind of Francophobe or something. OK then, how about if we call it the Budweiser Freedom Film Festival? Maybe that'll get you off the sofa and out to tonight's screening of An Amazing Couple, a romantic comedy about Cecile, a woman who suspects her secretive husband, Alain, of having an affair and hires an investigator, Pascal, to see what he's up to. Bad move. While Pascal finds no extramarital dalliances (Alain's secrecy stems from his exaggerated fear of a routine operation), he ends up falling for Cecile. Ménage javascript:passCharacter('224') trois, anyone? General admission costs $8. Call 954-525-3456, or visit www.cinemaparadiso.org. (JB)
TUE 2
We know what you're thinking -- you're too cool to go see Hilary Duff. You think she's just some kiddie-fare pop tart that the Disney Channel is force-feeding us. But listen. Homegirl is breaking out from beneath the shadow of the Mouse. We saw a picture of her in a Motrhead T-shirt. And she's dating some dude who wears eyeliner and plays in Good Charlotte. Hilary is punk! She recently released a greatest-hits disc (even though she has only two albums out), and she's taking online classes through Harvard University. Do not underestimate the Duff. Hit Hot Topic and then skedaddle over to her show at American Airlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami). Tickets cost $36 to $48. Call 305-358-5885, or visit www.ticketmaster.com. (DF)
WED 3
After countless opening slots on other bands' tours, Orlando's New Roman Times finally makes the move from supporting act to headliner. The foursome's last trip to South Florida was courtesy of indie darlings Death Cab for Cutie in 2004. NRT's brand of indie rock weighs tuneful pop hooks with inventive arrangements. On its only album, International Affairs, verses are plaintively shared in a back-and-forth exchange between vocalists Josie Fluri and Dan Owens (who play bass and guitar, respectively). The minimalist snare-and-bass-drum beats add a subtle new-wave touch as well. If you're thinking NRT's a modern-day Pixies, you're not too far off. New Roman Times performs tonight at the Lounge (517 Clematis St., West Palm Beach). John Ralston and Gene Francis start things off at 9 p.m. Call 561-655-9747. (JB)
