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This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

THU 14

Motley Crue did it. Poison did it. And Kiss did it best. So why shouldn't King Diamond dust off his Caboodles makeup case, capitalize on his 19-year-old accomplishments, and cobble together a few bucks for his permanent retirement? Back in 1986, it was still possible to get Tipper Gore's panties in a bunch by drawing upside-down stars, pretending to be a Satanist, and singing songs like "No Presents for Christmas." But in a post-Marilyn Manson world, is the King still scary? See for yourself at the Culture Room (Federal Highway and Oakland Park Boulevard, Fort Lauderdale) tonight. Call 954-564-1074. (DF)

FRI 15

Despite what you may want to believe, the Middle Eastern art of belly dancing isn't about seduction, wanton lust, and unbridled enthusiasm. Nor is it just about shaking your midriff. The Spirit of the Tribes #5, which begins today and goes through Sunday at War Memorial Auditorium (800 NE Eighth St., Fort Lauderdale) is the largest belly dancing fusion event on the East Coast. The largest troupes in Middle Eastern dance and music from around the country showcase the many different styles of belly dancing. After watching, you'll be inspired to pick up exotic belly dance costumes, accessories, and jewelry at the international bazaar. Fifteen renowned teachers from around the country lead belly dance workshops throughout the weekend. Tonight at 7:30 p.m., check out the performance by more than 80 dancers. The show costs $15. Call 954-929-7155, or visit (PAL)

SAT 16

Which line was more memorable? "Man, look at those tig ol' bitties"? Or "They said they were gonna fuck for a buck, do something strange for a little piece of change, and I know we're gonna make them holler for a dollar"? Comedian Mike Epps displayed such a knack for delivering these lines as the pot-smoking Day-Day in Ice Cube's movies Next Friday and Friday After Next, that he was also hired to play Baby Powder in How High with Redman and Method Man. So when he landed the job as the voice of Sonny in Dr. Doolittle 2, it was a step up. Next, Epps is due to play Ed Norton to Cedric the Entertainer's Ralph Kramden in Hollywood's version of The Honeymooners. Kinda makes you wonder where Pauly Shore is right now... Thankfully, Epps has a standup career to fall back on. Tonight, see what he can do when he's not kept in check by Hollywood's pandering to the lowest common denominator. He takes the stage at the Palm Beach Improv (550 S. Rosemary Ave., Ste. 250, West Palm Beach) at 7, 9, and 11 p.m. He also appears Friday and Sunday. Tickets cost $28.75. Call 561-833-1812, or visit (DF)

SUN 17

Don't turn the computer speakers up too loud if you visit the website of Orlando reggae-ska-punk band the SuperVillains ( Each page-change lets out a loose, wet fart sound that would make a drunken sailor blush. But as Grandma used to say, the big bucks are in dick and fart jokes. (She was a churchgoer.) The Villains hit the stage twice tonight at Ray's Downtown Blues (519 Clematis St., West Palm Beach), first for an all-ages show starting at 3 p.m., then again for a 21-plus show starting at 8 p.m. Before, after, and presumably during the band's sets, a baker's dozen of local groups performs. The all-ages show costs $9, and the 21-and-over show costs $5. Call 561-835-1577 or visit (PAL)

MON 18

Back in '82, while most 12-year-olds were busy playing with GI Joes and Shrinky Dinks, three preteens from Mississippi set out with a lofty goal: to create a scene-for-scene remake of the Spielberg classic Raiders of the Lost Ark. Two decades later, the homage -- complete with a giant boulder, live snakes, and a truck scene that stays so close to the original footage that it really makes you wonder where the hell these kids' parents were at -- has reemerged as an underground phenomenon. Tonight at 7:30, as part of the Palm Beach International Film Festival, Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation screens at the Muvico Parisian 20 (545 Hibiscus St., West Palm Beach) at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $5 to $8. Call 561-833-2310, or visit (PAL)

TUE 19

According to her husband, Baron Peter Gerolymatos, the cabaret performer known as Baroness Elisa "was born in Sydney, Australia, has been performing since she was 4, went to talent school with Nicole Kidman, had a lead role in a play opposite Mel Gibson, had a child as a teenager, married a Greek baron, moved to Europe, and is now here for her U.S. debut." Tonight through Thursday, she performs a musical theater program called "Embarrassing Moments" -- about "the poignant, funny, and charming story of her life," says the Baron -- at the Crest Theatre (51 N. Swinton Ave., Delray Beach). Tickets cost $42. Call 561-243-7922, or visit (DF)

WED 20

For those who like to partake of the sinsemilla from time to time, the 20th of April is akin to the Super Bowl, Hanukkah, and a hand job at Disney World rolled into one. But after 4:20 on 4/20, what you got planned, Panama Red? For stoners motivated enough to rise from their Dorito-crumb-encrusted couch, the 420 Fest-ovis kicks off at Ray's Downtown Blues (519 Clematis St., West Palm Beach) at ten past the magic minute (the far less infamous 4:30 p.m.). Grateful Dead tribute band Crazy Fingers kicks it off with 18 other bands following suit throughout the night. Portions of the $4 cover go to charity -- put that in your pipe and smoke it! According to host Jared Cole, this inaugural event is truly "a fest-ovis for the best of us." Call 561-835-1577, or visit (PAL)

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Deirdra Funcheon
Paul A. Leone

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