Looking for an excuse to indulge your fast-food cravings? Here's your chance, as the Krystal Corp. begins filming commercials at its Fort Lauderdale location (901 W. Sunrise Blvd.). The company is looking for 18- to 34-year-olds (preferably in groups) to relax, chow down, and talk about the new B.A. Burger and the old favorite, the Krystal Sackful -- an order of 12 burgers. If you're an aspiring actor looking for your big break, this ain't it; you've got to be a loyal Krystal customer, first and foremost. Though people eat a lot worse shit on Fear Factor. Compared to a jar full of maggots or raw pig's testicles, what's a dozen hamburgers? The taping takes place today through Sunday. The commercials begin airing in March. Call 954-524-9994. (JB)
FRI 28
Omigosh, we just love theater! And bananas! And, hey, who passed you that note in algebra class today? What we're saying is that people like us -- you know, people who have a little ADD going on and can't concentrate all that long before they feel like maybe their brains will explode -- should check out the Short Attention Span Theatre. Did you ever see that movie Strictly Ballroom? Not that it's like that... Anyway, the program features "show-stopping musical numbers, poignant dramatic monologues, and hilarious comedic scenes, each lasting less than five minutes." The extravaganza goes down at Meyer Hall at Dreyfoos School of the Arts (501 S. Sapodilla Ave., West Palm Beach). Performances are today and Saturday at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $15. Call 561-802-6052. (DF)
SAT 29
When somebody asks you to come to a party that has a "freaks first" policy, it's natural to feel a little scared... and, well, intrigued. It must be your lucky day, because "all nighttime creatures from the freakish to the frighteningly normal are invited for this one night of forward-thinking nostalgia" -- namely, the Nemesis Ball. Back in the early '90s -- think: raves! -- a club called Nemesis was housed in a former funeral home. DJs Frank Mendez and Danny Bled spun industrial, dark alternative, new romantic, and ethereal music; industrial bands played live sets; and people who dared to dress creatively got to skip to the front of the line. Tonight, Bled and Mendez, plus all the folks who made Nemesis exciting way back in the day, reunite at Club Xit (219 N. 21st Ave., Hollywood). Advance tickets ($7) are available at Uncle Sam's (4580 University Dr., Lauderhill, 954-742-2466) and the Fetish Factory (855 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Call 954-925-5801. (DF)
SUN 30
It's called the Jupiter Pro/Am Fall Classic surf contest, but it's happening in January. Good waves must not have had the event penciled in on their Day Planners. The ocean, says event organizer Jim McDow, "was what we call flat." Hopefully, conditions will be juuust right Saturday and today for the rescheduled event. Surf in -- or just watch -- men's and women's contests in the shortboard and longboard, plus a junior shortboard contest for age 16 and under and a senior longboard contest for those over 40. Pros like Ryan Helm and Peter Mendia should be among the 300-plus surfers who will compete. Considering that the registration fee is $80 per event, the winner's purse should end up pretty fat. Arrangements are under way to show a world premiere of a surf video at the Quarterdeck Restaurant (1096 W. Indiantown Rd., Jupiter, 561-743-6383) Saturday night. Catch an eyeful of shred at Carlin Park (400 State Rd. A1A, Jupiter). Call 561-662-4124. (DF)
MON 31
You've got to hand it to the folks in the Bush administration for their ability to turn lemons into Chardonnay. They finally admit (in their own well-spun way, of course) that the whole WMD thing was a fluke, yet people are more interested in knowing why Brad and Jennifer split. So how'd Bush do it? Oh, a little technique called demagoguery. You see, though it's been more than three years, the Bushies are still riding high on 9/11 hysteria. Don't think so? Then check out Hijacking Catastrophe: 9/11, Fear, and the Selling of the American Empire. Featuring interviews with 20-odd people in the know (like Pentagon whistle-blower Karen Kwiatkowski), the documentary examines how the tragic event played into the neocons' decades-old plan to boost defense spending, flex their military muscles abroad, and show how they fudged intelligence to fit their warped reality. The film is shown tonight at Cinema Paradiso (503 SE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale). The screening starts at 7:30 p.m. and costs $5 (the suggested donation). Call 954-525-FILM. (JB)
TUE 1
So the critics mostly agree that David Copperfield is, like, the master illusionist. What they don't know, however, is that he's quite the comedian too. Take a gander at this beauty from the Rumors page on his website, in which he debunks myths that he and Claudia Schiffer were a manufactured couple: "Yeah right, and as soon as O.J. puts time in, he'll find the killers." Boo-ya! You go, Dave! Let this be a lesson to any audience members planning on exposing him; try it and he'll verbally saw you in half. Now, if he could just make Ashlee and Jessica Simpson disappear... Copperfield performs tonight and Wednesday at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Tickets cost $35.75 to $52.75. Call 954-462-0222. (JB)
WED 2
As an American, you know that 1492 is the year Columbus heroically discovered -- er, cluelessly stumbled upon -- our continent. As a Floridian, you know that 1819 was the year the Spanish ceded our state to Uncle Sam. And as a museumgoer, the hundreds of years in between produced the paintings, sculptures, and other items on view in the exhibit "Spain in the Age of Exploration, 1492-1819," which opens today at the Norton Museum of Art (1451 S. Olive Ave., West Palm Beach). The exhibit includes works by painters (Velzquez, Goya) and sculptors (Bernini), as well as items like Sebastian Mnster's Map of the New World (Cuba and Hispaniola's entrance into the world of print) and the original letter from Queen Isabel to Christopher Columbus, giving him the green light for a second voyage. If only she knew what we know now -- she'd probably do it all over again. Marco! Polo! Chris out of water! The exhibit runs through May 1. Call 561-832-5196. (JB)
