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This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

THU 10

Kevin Pollak doesn't have to do standup comedy. His beefy résumé as a 17-year Hollywood actor continues to pile on the credits and pay the bills, most recently from the soon-to-be-released film Hostage, in which Pollak stars alongside a SWAT team negotiator played by Bruce Willis (you can bet Willis won't get any stretch marks from this role). Pollak tried taking a break from the normal standup circuit, for years performing only big-bucks charity events. But for a comic who wants his own forum for self-expression, that's just not going to happen with some nervous producer breathing down his neck. Besides, now that Willis has hooked up with that Nadia Bjrlin girl from Palm Beach (last we heard, anyway), maybe Pollak can hitch a free ride to town. Pollak performs Thursday through Sunday at the Fort Lauderdale Improv at Paradise Live (5700 Seminole Way, Hollywood). Tickets cost $18 to $20. Call 954-981-5653. (JB)

FRI 11

If your dad were pals with a famous artist, you'd be bound to inherit some interesting artifacts. And if the artist were Salvador Dalí -- and your father is the late Pierre Argillet -- then interesting is insufficient to describe what's in your piggy bank. Taking leave from her Los Angeles-based studio, Christine Argillet brings to town "Salvador Dalí: The Argillet Collection," an exhibit of 200-plus rare etchings that opens today at New River Fine Art Gallery (914 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Argillet makes an appearance tonight and Saturday, as part of a gala celebration to benefit Broward County's Kids in Distress (which focuses on the treatment and prevention of child abuse). Sure, it's a gala event, but there's no cover -- well, if you're too cheap to support a good cause. The exhibit runs through February 27. Call 954-524-2100. (JB)

SAT 12

Flora! Fauna! Fun! That's the theme of the Everglades Day Festival at Arthur R. Marshall Loxahatchee National Wildlife Refuge (10216 Lee Rd., Boynton Beach). During the birding walks at 7:30 and 9 a.m., or the photography walk at 8:30 a.m., you can learn about the six recreational priorities of the National Wildlife Refuge System: photography, observation, education, fishing, hunting, and interpretation. And you thought the priorities were plundering, destroying, developing, deforesting, and drilling! Stop being so cynical and go on a butterfly walk at 11 a.m. or 1 p.m., and take advantage of camping demonstrations and survival skills workshops throughout the day. Call 561-734-8303, or visit (DF)

SUN 13

Most of the time, Kira Fleischman stays busy teaching burlesque dance, geisha dance, and "chair dancing." But today, she's putting her anthropology degree to use by leading Valentine's Fun and Games in her studio (21000 Boca Rio Rd., Boca Raton). During the "erotic craft session," you'll make a Lover's Eye. "It's kind of like a brooch," Fleischman explains. "Men in Renaissance times would make a picture of their lover's eye and hang it on a string around their necks, or their hips, or, uh, lower." You will also eat a baked pastry called a Nipple of Venus ("It has raisins") and get medieval recipes -- for foods that people used to eat in bathtubs. Afterward, you can forget the Kamasutra -- Fleischman will teach you exotic nookie tips, "like how people have sex in the Amazon." The session lasts from 3 to 5 p.m., and it costs $20 per person or $30 per couple. For more information about this or any of Fleischman's dance classes, call 561-488-7045. (DF)

MON 14

When Q. Allen Brocka released his short film Rick and Steve -- the Happiest Gay Couple in All the World, audiences gave it, like, two million thumbs up. The action took place at a gay dinner party, and the roles were played by characters made from Lego toys. It's "a pornographically baroque excursion," wrote one film critic. It's "a hilarious, hugely inventive stop-motion animation film," said another. "Three words say it all," wrote the guy from Indiewire. "Masturbating Lego penis." Now, Brocka's moved on to make feature-length films featuring real live human beings, and the word on the street is that his work is still as funny as hell. Check out the South Florida premiere of his latest, Eating Out -- about a love quadrangle between two sets of roommates, both gay and straight. The movie starts at 7:30 p.m. at Cinema Paradiso (503 SE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale). Tickets cost $10. Call 305-534-9924, or visit (DF)

TUE 15

With the recent influx of improv comedy in South Florida, from Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood to the Miami Improv Festival, it's only appropriate that Shear Madness come to town. A veritable institution at Boston's Charles Playhouse, the 25-year-old play relies on audience input to advance the plot, which centers around the murder of a concert pianist who lived above a hair salon. It's up to you to solve the crime by providing clues to the floundering detectives and giving them a little supportive nudge (read: heckling) when the opportunity arises. The cast adds a timely touch to the plot by drawing on current events. Needless to say, they have no idea what the verdict will be each night. Hmm... Maybe this is how the Michael Jackson trial should be conducted. Shear Madness runs through February 27 at the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts (701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach). Tickets cost $25 to $30. Call 561-832-7469. (JB)

WED 16

Talk about strange bedfellows. One is an over-garrulous, fashion-dictating talk show queen; the other, a permanent therapy patient recounting his dysfunctional family. Yes, it's Joan Rivers and Louie Anderson, and they're performing tonight at the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts (701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach). There's a good chance you're too young to remember Rivers back when she, you know, did something worthwhile ("Who are you wearing?!" -- Arggh! Make it stop!). But it's true; the multi-talented comedienne has been honored with both an Emmy Award and (yup) the Harvard Instant Pudding Award -- something the admittedly food-lovin' Anderson would like to display on his mantle. With a shtick based mostly on tales of his troubled upbringing, it's only appropriate that Anderson was once host of Family Feud. Let's hope his recent appearance on Dr. Phil hasn't affected his comedy. Show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $15 to $100. Call 561-832-7469. (JB)

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