Warped Tour Scavenger Hunt

If you’ve been to Warped Tour since it started skankin’ and moshin’ on its warbly newborn legs 13 years ago, the magic might have worn off. Since you now go primarily for the people watching, why not catch some bands and score points in our Warped Tour Scavenger Hunt? The rules are simple: he with the most points wins.

Misspelled tattoo: 5 points. Misspelled tattoo in Latin: 20 points. Wilted, fallen Mohawk – 5 points. Gutter punk imposter – 3 points (that’s the guy who looks like a penniless gutter punk, but secretly sneaks off to consume scads of $8 concessions). One of Brett Gurewitz’ old heroin needles (kept for nostalgia’s sake) – 8 points. Being a first-hand witness of Pit Justice – 3 points. A lone Van, brand new and separated from its owner due to excessive moshing – 2 points. A one-shoed former mosher sadly surveying the crowd for his missing Van that his mother just bought him at Hot Topic – 4 points. Underage drinking – 2 points. Old, crossed out, straightedge tattoos on drinkers – 5 points. Coked up Miami-chic talent scouts – 2 points. A true gutter punk vomitting on a coked up, Miami-chic talent scout – Priceless.

The list of bands is longer than the vegan hotdog line; go to www.warpedtour.com for a full list. Tickets cost $31. Visit www.ticketmaster.com. Warped Tour is a day-long festival on Saturday at Bicentennial Park (1075 Biscayne Blvd., Miami).

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Jamie Laughlin