Words Fail

Some opening lines of books will never be forgotten: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...”; “Call me Ishmael”; “I think of my job as that of a cheerleader — of course, as you know, my main job is turning the letters.” That last pearl of insight comes to us from who else but Vanna White, television’s foremost woman of letters, courtesy of her 1987 tome Vanna Speaks. Not many of us listened; the book can hardly fetch a penny these days. The reason it’s not being forgotten is because people snarkier than Vanna White have been keeping it alive as part of Celebrity Autobiography, a sold-out off-Broadway hit for three years beginning in 2009. The show, which is currently touring, has a simple yet brilliant premise: Comedians, actors, and other public figures read portions of the autobiographies “written” by such linguistically challenged celebs as Sylvester Stallone, Suzanne Somers, Tommy Lee, Mr. T., Star Jones, and Miley Cyrus word for word, letting the self-important gravitas and unintentional humor speak for itself. The readers for the upcoming Kravis Center shows will be its creators, Eugene Pack and Dayle Reyfel, along with Broadway star Gary Beach and comic actress Lainie Kazan. Performances run at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday through January 30, 1:30 and 7:30 p.m. January 31, and 1:30 p.m. February 1 at the Kravis, located at 701 Okeechobee Blvd. in West Palm Beach. Tickets cost $38. Call 561-832-7469, or visit kravis.org.
Wed., Jan. 28, 2015
KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
John Thomason
Contact: John Thomason