You Got a Permit for That Meatball?

Your local police force has endured years of rigorous training workshops so that it can respond efficiently when someone is mugged, a teetering jumper is threatening suicide, or some punk kid in his daddy’s Mercedes side-swipes you in a Publix parking lot (you’ll get yours, you whipper-snappers!). But I think we all know what the real barometer of a force’s efficiency is: how well does it play beach volleyball?

This and other crucial questions will be answered on Monday at the 21st Annual Police Challenge in Delray Beach, an event that pits three departments against one another for bragging rights, cash prizes, and shiny trophies. Sure, cops wave their batons at bad guys regularly, but have you seen them hand one off in a four-man, 360-yard relay race? You will today! And don’t buy into the old cliché of cops savoring their Krispy Kremes – that’s so 1950s. These are the 2000s -- a more refined era – and we now know that policemen actually prefer the flavor of ground chuck, a fact proven during the deliciously competitive meatball eating contest.

The day’s crowning point of rivalry will be when police chiefs from Delray Beach, Boynton Beach, and Boca Raton go head-to-head (to head) for the prestigious Chief’s Trophy. To win this prize, one man must excel in a grueling three-part battle. First, the victor must have deadly accuracy in the free-throw contest; next he must exhibit Hercules-type might during the football toss; and finally he must show the agility of a snow leopard during the Nintendo Wii tournament. Cheer on your local department today at Delray Beach Municipal Beach (Atlantic Ave. and Ocean Blvd. [A1A], Delray Beach), after all, they hardly ever get to let their hair down and have fun -- making sure you're safe is a full-time job. The after party goes down at Boston’s on the Beach (40 S. Ocean Blvd., Delray Beach), so you can finally buy your favorite cop a drink. For more information on the Police Challenge call 561-276-9657. For information on the awards ceremony at Boston’s call 561-278-3364, or visit
Mon., Sept. 3

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jamie Laughlin