Don’t feel bad about Florida’s reputation as the pill-pushing capitol of the world. We, at least, push our pills from clinics housed in nondescript gray buildings, none of which are likely to attract throngs of screaming children. Not so in New York City. There, they sell narcotics from ice cream…
All of us belt-tightening, recession-hardened Americans love “fiscal responsibility” and “free markets.” A politician merely says the words “free markets” or “fiscal responsibility” in a sufficiently grim tone and we go wild, like little Asian girls getting their first glimpse of a 22-year-old Paul McCartney. And nobody does “fiscal responsibility”…
A lot of people are now officially pissed off about State Rep. Kathleen Passidomo’s statement from last Tuesday, defending Florida’s “sagging pants bill.” (Which is a mostly fine bill, by the way.) Just because I can still hardly believe it myself, here’s that quote once again:There was an article about…
Poor Barbara Hijek! She’s been toiling away on her FloriDUH blog over at the Sun Sentinel for what, by her reckoning, is over 4,100 entries. That takes a lot out of a gal. So you ought to be nicer to her about the minor (yet boneheaded) flub she committed two…
Hey, I’m shocked too. Of course, there could be surprises lurking in the legislation, which won’t be completely viewable till next week. But the goal sounds noble.The legislation is the “Global Combat Zone Recognition Act,” and its stated purpose is to ensure “that men and women targeted specifically because they…
“Priorities?” begins David Grimm’s deliciously droll editorial in the Miami Herald. “You ask about legislative priorities? Obviously, you refer to the insidious threat of pasture paparazzi — the surreptitious skulks threatening unwitting barn animals.”Indeed, it appears that “pasture paparazzi” are a legislative priority, at least for State Sen. Jim Norman…
A week ago Monday, an observant worker at Kennedy Space Center noticed some unusual white powder laying about. (Where, exactly, we haven’t been told.) The worker alerted the proper authorities, the substance was tested, and whaddaya know? It was coke! A hefty 4.2 grams of the stuff. I don’t know…
It’s well and good that Florida Citizens for Science would publish a release condemning the anti-evolution legislation recently drafted by State Sen. Stephen Wise. The execution, alas, is a little depressing. (Note: Read the Juice’s own take on Sen. Wise’s legislation here!)The full news release may be viewed at the…
Last week, the Sun Sentinel ran a sad little story about the death of Grad Nite. Do you know about Grad Nite? If not, you’re probably not from around here.Grad Nite was an event instituted at Walt Disney World shortly after the park opened, in imitation of a similar event…
What you’ve just seen is an advertisement from a Democrat named Patrick Murphy, a 28-year-old small businessman and CPA who’s running to represent Florida’s 22nd district in 2012. Of course, we’ve already got somebody occupying that seat: Rep. Lt. Col. Allen West. Rep. West is arguably the fastest-rising star in…
A shocking little ditty appeared today on The Buzz, the political blog of the St. Petersberg Times, about the passage through subcommittee of what most folks are calling the “sagging pants bill.” The bill is what is sounds like. The “sagging pants bill,” HB 61, is known less colloquially as…
As our own Michael Cohen reported here, Florida’s prisons shall soon be smoke-and-tobacco free! (Check out his column for the deets.) Todd Wright, writing for NBC Miami, admirably captured what must be every semi-sane person’s reaction to this news, writing:Violence inside state prisons might go up a notch after the…
Belated happy birthday, Sun-Sentinel, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. It reminds me of all the little twerps who used to pick on the shy, socially awkward kids at my elementary school, dancing and bobbing and weaving and showing off while they delivered their…
Oh my, how depressing is today’s Palm Beach Post. A dead shuttle worker, a dead spring breaker, an old lady beaten at a bakery — and a Palm Beach Gardens psych teacher disciplined for talking sex with his students.The crime: Veteran educator Frank Rozanski presented his advanced psychology students with…
This Friday, Rick Scott will almost certainly sign into law Senate Bill 0736, which eliminates tenure for new teachers and implements new requirements for teacher performance.The bill’s got problems. For one, its methods of judging school performance are piggybacked onto Florida’s odious Race to the Top program, which I excoriated…
In 2007, middle schooler Michael Teich was unwell. Teich, who is severely autistic, would return from his days at Coconut Creek’s Monarch High School disconsolate and hurt — with “obvious signs of trauma to his eyes and other body parts,” as subsequent legal documents would claim. One day in December,…
This week, Rep. Col. Allen West denounced a report by the Military Leadership Diversity Commission, which found that 77 percent of active-duty senior officers are white and 84 percent are male. Rep. Col. West didn’t attack the report’s findings, exactly. In fact, he didn’t seem entirely certain what the report…
Thursday, Allen West appeared on Glenn Beck for a chat with Judge Andrew Napolitano — a true libertarian and genuinely good guy, who nowadays earns his keep as Fox’s answer to Harvey Fierstein and/or Bee Arthur. The subject under discussion? The government shutdown that may occur should Congress be unable…
Calling Allen West a “Defender of Israel” is a little like calling Fred Phelps a “defender of Christianity.” West thinks he’s a defender of Israel, and he sure does seem to like the place, but his net impact on that country probably isn’t so good.I made this point to a…
It’s no secret that Florida’s in a bit of trouble. Our people are miserable, our interwebs are clogged with sluts, we’ve lost our houses, and we’re broke. And what’ll turn it around? Golf! At the urging of our golf-crazy gazillionaire governor and his trusted advisor, Jack “The Golden Bear” Nicklaus,…
Sen. Marco Rubio offered this statement early this week, re: the legislative branch’s decision to challenge the Obama administration on its decision that DOMA isn’t worth defending:I want to thank Speaker Boehner and the House Republican leadership for taking action to defend this critical law that was enacted by a…
When will the crazy stop? Rep. Allen West is a man — a two-hundred-poundish, handsome, intelligent man, with his own ideas, experiences, memories, loves, dislikes, hatreds, prejudices, whathaveyou. He is not a canvas.Yet that’s what lots of people want him to be. Since he first hung up his dress uniform,…
