New Age Wines for New River Whiners

Biodynamism was born in a simpler age, when enemas could cure consumption and sniffing radium could cure almost anything; when American criminals were hanged and American women could barely vote. The year was 1924. Biodynamic farming — which emphasizes the treatment of farmland as a holistic ecosystem and eschews the…

When the Satire Is Blunt

Dearly beloved, why are you reading a theater review right now? Are you not aware that the country is about to be taken over by a cruel, dishonest, superstitious gun fetishist of a Manchurian candidate who wants to retool our nation’s already shaky science curriculum until the completely unscientific creation…

Celestial Occurrences = Drunk Drumming

Nothing stands between a pagan and her party. Which is why the MoonPath chapter of the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans at the UU Church of Fort Lauderdale (3970 NW 21st Ave., Fort Lauderdale) is celebrating the solstice the same way Wiccans celebrate everything else: drumming, dancing, drinking and food…

They’re Takin’ Over!

Le sigh. Coffee District (325 NE 2nd Ave) is the kind of place that had to be in Delray, isn’t it? Of course it is. An artsy café with simultaneous hippie and modernist pretensions, good coffee, lovely paninis, a quirky wine list, over 80 microbrews, and nightly performance art? Shit,…

Nightsticks, Guns, and Other Euphemisms

If you wanted to get philosophical about what is, after all, a gay party celebrating a very specific fetish, you might consider this: The scene at Stonewall back in 1969 couldn’t have been all that different from what you’re likely to encounter at 10 p.m. this evening at Steel/Jackhammer Video…

Gay. Ish.

Not long ago, gay movies were about gayness. In My Beautiful Launderette, two lovers struggled against anti-gay (and anti-Asian) forces in 1980s Britain. In Lilies, two lovers struggled against provincial het-chauvinism in rural Canada. There are a gazillion flicks like these, but their day is done. By the time Latter…

Bad Sex

Because we live in a beautiful and tolerant world, nobody will come out and tell you that gay theaters suck. But they do. They suck a lot. Almost without exception, they are standard-less places peddling cheap, feel-good emotions, dedicated to a bland and facile kind of politically correct sloganeering which…

Blood, Sweat, and Canvas

Back in the day, the nicest thing about being an Olympic athlete was the art. If you were good, people would paint you, sculpt you, and write songs about you. Acanthus of Sparta was celebrated by Thucydides, and whole mythologies grew up around Milo of Croton — according to legend,…

Fuzzy, Fuzzy Fuzz

A lot of plays fail simply because they can’t find any justification for their own existences. They die quietly, sinking under the weight of their unintended dreariness or inessentiality or silliness — the three qualities that, together, comprise the silent killers of the regional theater world. Today, these killers do…

Kevin Pollack Is Someone Else

Apart from being talented, famous, and rich, it probably kind of sucks to be Kevin Pollack. Pollack clawed around the far edges of showbiz from the age of 10 ‘til the age of 20, finally becoming a household face (if not a household name) after landing a supporting role in…

The Fall

Director Tarsem Singh is probably most famous for vivisecting a horse. You remember the moment: it happened in the Jennifer Lopez shitfest known as The Cell, just as the Lopez character descended into the mind of a serial killer. The horse was sliced and diced by huge panels of glass…

Use Your Illusion

Famed coloratura soprano Florence Foster Jenkins was 44 years old when her singing career began. It started with small recitals for her friends and carefully selected music lovers, and she likely attempted to cover up her budding celebrity from her disapproving mother. It was only with the old lady dead…

Carnivores With Rhythm

That anyone can dance in the presence of Brazilian food is amazing. Americans certainly couldn’t hack it — in the U-S-of-A, most of us can be felled by a mere cheeseburger. Eat the thing and you get maybe a 25-minute window before you must find a nice place to lie…

Body & Soul

Why We Have a Body opens with an honest-to-God perfect 15 minutes. The night I attended, it began with actress Ambar Aranaga pointing a gun at one of my dates and saying: “Yes! This is a holdup. Now listen, I will only say this once: I am the way things…

The Unsinkable Ship

True story: I was in a theater waiting for a play to start. There was an older couple sitting next to me, flipping through the Playbill. “Feh,” said the woman. “I can’t believe they’re doing South Pacific next month.” “Right,” said the man. “Who the hell needs to see South…

From Faux Chick to Chick Flicks

Wendy Wasserstein is dead, which is a damned shame — now, there’s hardly anybody left in the theater community willing to explore chick-ish issues like togetherness and transcending obstacles through mutual respect and zzzzzzzzzzz… What? Oh! Wasserstein! Yes: the departed-but-beloved playwright’s The Sisters Rosensweig is now running at Rising Action…

America After Dark

We’ve already used this space to tell you how Bill’s Filling Station (2209 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors) has brought Sunday diners back in touch with a great American gustatory tradition, with roots in God-fearing, working-class towns in the heartland: the Blue Plate Special. Well, that all ends at 5 p.m.,…

Big Breaks

I didn’t have the cash to do my collecting at Art Basel or Art Miami — not even across the street, in that weird little warehouse where people with dreads were selling abstract expressionist paintings by their dog (sans frames). That’s because I, like you (dear New Times reader), am…

T(errible)-Wrecks

Going to a wake and sequestering yourself with a grief-stricken husband for 75 minutes in the presence of his beloved wife’s corpse. Listening and saying nothing, even though the husband is plainly in no condition to be speaking with anybody, least of all a stranger. Hearing ickily personal details of…

Real Drama

The Exceptional Theatre Company is the largest theater company in South Florida, but you’ve probably never heard of it. It’s got more than 200 actors on the books, three dozen unpaid assistants, a board of directors, three employees who draw regular paychecks (or could, in theory, if they’d ever submit…

A Really Good Reefer Joint

Four months ago in this very publication, we announced the first local Reef Fest rally — called Reef Rally — to take place at Alligator Alley (1831 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park). We told you that Reef Fest is a series of ideologically linked concerts taking place across the nation…

Boys, Baseball, Beer and Billiards

Sidelines is a fantastic place. A clean, well-lit and perpetually busy spot in Wilton Manors (specifically at 2031 Wilton Dr., right next to The Naked Grape and One Tea Lounge), the clientele is loud and fun and the staff are friendly. Sidelines is also Wilton’s lone gay sports bar, and…