Last week, the principal of Blanche Ely High School, Mr. Karlton Johnson, hauled an interracial lesbian couple into his office and threatened to suspend them for holding hands in the hallway. He’d warned them about this hand-holding business before, he said — he was just upholding the school’s rules, and…
The uncontested loser of Wednesday’s American Idol was Beyonce, who debuted the video to a single entitled “Run The World (Girls)” which has no melody, chorus, or hook. It is the closest thing to atonality I’ve ever heard in a pop single, and it’s going to impact the charts about…
Respect and gratitude to the monkey lovers at the Animal Rights Foundation of Florida (ARFF) for ensuring that humanity will enjoy the company of AIDS, blindness, and hepatitis a little while longer.These are just three of the maladies under investigation by scientists who use nonhuman primates in their research –…
What is it with with our Republican froshes? Can’t they agree with the White House on anything?Two weeks ago, Marco Rubio made an ass of himself by using his weekly newsletter to oppose Barack Obama’s “draft executive order” — an order demanding that agencies bidding on government contracts disclose their…
A brief update to this story, posted last night in anticipation of Mike Huckabee’s announcement re: his presidential candidacy:There will be no presidential candidacy. As Huck explains in the below video, he was practically a shoe-in for the presidency. All the objective evidence told him to run. He thought his…
Mike Huckabee’s gonna go on air in exactly 50 minutes and make an important announcement re: his presidential candidacy. The smart money says he’s not running, and until a few days ago, I hoped the smart money was wrong. No way should Huck be president, but he’s a fun campaigner…
Mufti and imam Izhar ul-Haq Khan has just been arrested, accused of providing material support to the Taliban in Pakistan, planning the murder of Pakistani civilians, and plotting to overthrow the Pakistani government and replace it with a theocracy. But there’s a lot more to the man! He also “has…
Big news from State Sen. Eleanor Sobel (D-Hollywood): Legislation she originated in SB 758, which addresses the terrible dangers of texting while driving, has passed through the chambers and now awaits the governor’s signature in Tallahassee.It’s a no-frills kind of bill, running a good deal less than 400 words, which…
We found Bin Laden’s porn!This news comes courtesy of Reuters. And though Reuters admits that the supersecret CIA leakers who gave them this information can’t confirm that the porn definitely belonged to Osama Bin Laden — as opposed to, say, his wives or sons — who cares? The interwebs have…
Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, chairwoman of the DNC, has two big PR problems. The first is that she speaks almost exclusively in what sounds like focus-group-tested sound bites. The second is that she’s no good at it, either because she lacks a certain common touch or because her sound bites…
I can’t find any stats on how many high school seniors attend school in Broward County, but since the school district counts 257,000 students in all 13 grades, figure it’s fewer than 20,000. With that number of seniors, it might be OK that more than 2,000 seniors failed to pass…
Not that it wasn’t deserved, but who on Earth thought Durbin would be the one packing his bags? Holy shit!I’m still proud of my predictions yesterday. Everybody, but everybody thought Haley was a goner. But I knew she wasn’t. Every week, her fan base has grown in both size and…
When Marco Rubio talks foreign policy, it’s hard not to get a little misty. The guy so obviously believes what he says and what he says are such good, noble, red-blooded and freedom-loving things that they could have been lifted from a fireside chat with Franklin D. Roosevelt.Which is a…
Last night, the Top Four began the show by singing songs that “inspire” them, and thus we witnessed the first genuinely disturbing moment in the tenth season of American Idol. It came courtesy of the barritonal teen pinup Scotty McCreery, who sang Alan Jackson’s “Do You Remember (When the World…
Imagine you are Jesus Christ and you’re scuba diving. Somewhere in the mid-Atlantic, you come upon a submarine. With your famed omniscience, you divine its nature, its contents, and its capabilities. This is the USS Florida, an Ohio-class vessel, fresh from the Libyan coast. It’s almost 600 feet long. It’s…
I hope Denise Harvey is too preoccupied with her own ongoing legal to dramas to keep abreast of the ones unfolding back home. Remember Denise? She was the 42-year-old Vero Beach baseball mom who was sentenced to 30 years in prison for sleeping with a 16-year-old. Thusly sentenced, she did…
Governors should stay the hell out of the autism wars.Their intrusion leads to naught but embarrassment and the enfranchisement of questionable characters. Example: In 2009, Charlie Crist appointed anti-vax chiropractor Dr. Gary Kompothecras to his Autism Task Force. After his appointment, Kompothecras — not incidentally, a man whose uncanny ability…
Our benighted federal prosecutors are in for a bumpy ride.As of yesterday, a few of these unlucky do-gooders have been charged with the task of punishing three women arrested for performing expensive fake exorcisms. The women, who hail from Broward, are 36-year-old Polly Evans; her 22-year-old daughter, Olivia Evans; and…
On April 22, Allen West gave a now-famous speech to a group called Women Impacting the Nation explaining that the most pressing duty of strong, American women is to breed and support strong, American men. I reported on this fascinating contention, and the story traveled a goodly ways — even…
One week ago, for a split second, almost everyone in the world was united in relief and happiness. Now, a Delta pilot has refused to fly his plane with two Muslim clerics aboard.Early Saturday, the plane was nearing the runway at Memphis International when the pilot objected to the imams’…
“We need to find out how this information was gathered,” said Marco Rubio to the Tampa Tribune, referring to the intelligence on Osama Bin Laden’s courier that led to last Sunday’s raid. “Again, this is not for the purposes of saying we were right and you were wrong. It’s for…
Judge Merrilee Ehrlich of Broward is making juvenile delinquents write and perform poetry as a condition of their probation and in lieu of more intense community service.In a Sun-Sentinel story published this morning, Judge Ehlrich explains that she “wanted to make [their service] a creative endeavor; something positive. Something to…
