Although the Miami Heat’s Mario Chalmers remains the starting point guard, he continues to struggle with a severe case of the Suck on a night-to-night basis. So, to offset this, the Heat traded for Rafer Alston from New Jersey in exchange for Chris Quinn and his 1.2 points per game…
When the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers played against each other three weeks ago, the game ended in what can only be effectively described as a thorough “ass-thumpin” as the Heat took down Indiana 114-80. Dwyane Wade played only 28 minutes, yet in that short span, he was able to…
Miami Heat Head Coach Erik Spoelstra gave each member of his team a motivational book as a Christmas gift: Jon Gordon’s The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and Team With Positive Energy. “It’s a poignant book,” Spoelstra told the Sun-Sentinel. “We’re at our best when we’re…
When the 2009 Miami Dolphins schedule came out last spring, it was widely assumed that the Fins would be playing for their season against a Pittsburgh Steelers team that would have already clinched homefield and would be resting their starters on the last game of the regular season. Instead, both…
The Houston Texans have been a major pain in the Miami Dolphins’ ass the past three seasons. In 2006, Houston got a two-point victory thanks to a pair of David Carr (David F*%$ing Carr!) touchdowns. In 2007, Texans DT Travis Johnson nearly decapitated Fins QB Trent Green when Green tried…
The Miami Heat returns to the American Airlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) after a West Coast road trip where they endured a crushing Kobe Bryant buzzer beater, a blowout in Denver, and Dwyane Wade dropping 34 on the Kings. Their coming home stand promises to be chock-full o’ subplots…
The Miami Heat kicked off the year with a bang, boasting a franchise-best 6-1 record. Since then, however, they’ve been hit with a mild case of mediocrity, dropping games to top-tier teams such as the Cavs and Celtics, as well as bottom-of-the-barrel teams such as the Wizards and Thunder. It…
Yes, the New England Patriots are the class act of the division. But, as Joey Porter likes to continuously remind everyone, the Miami Dolphins are still the defending AFC East champs. And even though Porter had as many tackles as your sister could have pulled off when New England beat…
The last time the Miami Dolphins saw the Buffalo Bills, the Fins had just lost Chad Pennington for the year after his shoulder crumbled into a fine powder. They were forced to start Chad Henne sooner than expected and were sitting at an abysmal 0-3. All seemed bleak and hopeless…
When Jason Taylor was traded to the Washington Redskins last season, it left a huge void in the Miami Dolphins. Watching JT strut around in those burnt red Redskins colors was like watching Bizarro Superman. It just didn’t look or feel right. Lucky for us all, the Fins re-signed Taylor…
During an off-season that the Cavaliers added Shaq and Vince Carter was traded to Orlando, the Miami Heat stood pat, thinking it could build on last year’s 43-win season by asking Dwyane Wade to, once again, play the role of Atlas. With an inconsistent supporting cast, D-Wade still managed to…
Stephen Ross’ quest to make the Miami Dolphins the most ridiculous franchise in the NFL is nearly complete. As if getting D-List celebrities that haven’t been relevant since the Clinton Administration to sign on as minority owners and then hiring T-Pain to ruin the original Dolphins fight song wasn’t enough,…
Now that the Miami Dolphins’ mission to get to the playoffs has officially gone tits up, it’s time to focus on the new task at hand. Namely, to completely eradicate the New York Jets, their loudmouth head coach and their over-hyped quarterback. Not to mention shutting up the most obnoxious…
For all the ups and downs of the 2009 Florida Marlins season, there has been one constant. No, not the terrible relief pitching but, rather, the ability to beat the bejesus out of their NL East rival New York Mets at every given chance. The Marlins enter this weekend with…
If there were one word to describe the 2009 Florida Marlins — besides maybe “craptastico!” — it would be “implosion.” This was a team painfully close to a postseason berth, but the plethora of strikeouts, the horsecrap bullpen, and the two biggest stars getting into a verbal brouhaha in front…
According to coolstandings.com, a website devoted to baseball odds, the Florida Marlins have only a five percent chance to make the playoffs this year. However, the odds makers have been unable to see the emergence of leftfielder Chris Coghlan. Coghlan ended the month of August with 46 hits, the most…
Streaks are generally a good thing, unless we’re talking about those people in England that run around naked at tennis and soccer matches. Or the Florida Marlins. The Fish had themselves a pretty cool streak a few weeks back when they went fifteen-straight games with ten or more hits —…
The good news is that the Florida Marlins took down the league-leading Dodgers a few weeks ago. The bad news is that the Nationals, the worst team in the majors, swept the Fish soon after. The good news is, the Marlins were able to bounce back and sweep the defending…
Remember when the Miami Dolphins were the laughingstock of the NFL? When opposing teams penciled them in as an automatic win every season and it was excruciatingly embarrassing to admit you were a fan? Yeah, neither do we. Well, maybe a little. But knowing the Fins are entering this season…
The Florida Marlins became buyers before the trade deadline when they traded for Washington Nationals first baseman Nick Johnson. And that’s a good thing, because when the Fish trade for a player, it’s usually some useless aging relief pitcher with Styrofoam for ligaments in his throwing shoulder. But this time…
In case you haven’t noticed (and you probably haven’t) the Florida Marlins are making some noise in the National League postseason race. And in case you didn’t think it possible for them to make a serious run (and you probably didn’t) you should re-think that position, because the Fish might…
With the Florida Marlins in the middle of a pretty serious NL East race, it’s time to play “What Genius Move Will Larry Beinfest Make, and How Will Fredi Gonzalez Screw it Up?” So far this season, the Fish have been able to overcome a precarious bullpen, abysmal defense, and…
