Shelton Thomas Bell, Florida Terrorist Suspect, Pleads Not Guilty

Shelton Thomas Bell, a Florida man accused of traveling to the Middle East in order to join a terrorist group and conspiring to aid al-Qaida, pleaded not guilty in a federal court in Jacksonville. Feds say that Bell, 19, had plans to join the group Ansar Al-Sharia (otherwise known around…

Chris Bosh Is a Raptor in a Videogame

Chris Bosh is half-man, half-raptor. We already knew this. But now the fine folks at 2K Sports have brought that to life by making Chris Bosh an actual raptor in their NBA2K13 videogame. And it is the most awesome/amazing/terrifying thing you’ll ever see…

Sinkhole Collapses Resort Near Disney World

A sinkhole collapsed a villa at the Summer Bay Resort near Disney World early Monday morning. The building is almost halfway in the hole, with another section of the villa sinking into the ground. At around 3:00 a.m., witnesses reported hearing a cracking sound as the villa began to submerge…

Cristiano Ronaldo Rushed by Fan at Sun Life Stadium

Sun Life Stadium hosted the inaugural Guinness International Champions Cup Wednesday night between powerhouse clubs Real Madrid and Chelsea. And the capacity crowd of 67,273 were treated to an exciting match that featured two spectacular goals by Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo. But, just past the 66th minute, the match…

137 Cats Euthanized by Palm Beach County Animal Control Officials

A Lake Worth woman is facing over a hundred animal cruelty charges after Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control officials raided her home and found 137 cats living in horrid conditions. Officials also found six dead cats in the woman’s freezer. All 137 cats found in the residence had…

Davie Might Lift Buying Booze on Sundays Ban

For many years now, folks who live in Davie that wanted to get their booze on before noon on Sundays were shit out of luck. Thanks to a decades-old ordinance, stores are prohibited from selling any alcohol until after 12:00 on Sundays. But now, the Davie Town Council will be…

Lauderdale Lakes Man Shot Execution Style, Says Family

Eighteen-year-old Steven Rutty was found shot dead by his stepfather in the bathroom of their family’s Lauderale Lakes home on Monday. The home was ransacked, but there were no signs of forced entry. According to some neighbors, the door to the bathroom appeared to have been kicked in. Rutty appeared…

Rick Scott Has Decided to Resume His Dumb Voter Purge

It looks like Gov. Rick Scott has decided to get back on that voter purge of “noncitizens” horse again, thanks to the Supreme Court’s ruling gutting Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act. Scott went on his mostly ineffective, mostly arbitrary voter purge last year after state officials sent local…

Burglars Break Into Pompano Warehouse to Steal Shoes, Leave Behind Shoes

Three masked burglars arrived to their intended target, a Pompano Beach warehouse, with just one thing in mind: smash their way into the building by any means necessary, expertly disable the building’s alarms, and steal several briefcases filled with gold bullion. And by “several briefcases filled with gold bullion,” we…

Alex Rodriguez to be Suspended Through End of 2014 Season

Ever since our sister paper’s report on Major League baseball players obtaining performance enhancing drugs from the Coral Gables-based clinic, Biogenesis, broke, players have been falling by the wayside via suspensions. But now the biggest fish in the barrel has apparently fallen, as ESPN is reporting that New York Yankee…