Nik Wallenda, Florida Daredevil, Crosses Grand Canyon on High Wire

Nick Wallenda, the self-desribed “King of the High Wire,” from Sarasota, Florida, completed a historic 1,400-foot high-wire walk across the Grand Canyon on Sunday. The event was broadcast live (with a ten-second delay in case things turned, uh, bad) on the Discovery Channel and was also shown around the world…

Chris Bosh Nearly Choked on a Piece of Confetti Last Night

So there was Chris Bosh, sitting on the stage, championship lid on his head, soaking in the amazeballs feeling it is to be a two-time NBA Champion, when it was all almost undone by a single piece of falling confetti. See also: Chris Bosh’s Greatest GIFs And, even as we…

Florida Man Robs Bank in Iron Man Mask

Has Tony Stark turned to a life of crime?? Or is this a sinister plot by the Mandarin to frame Iron Man? Or maybe it’s just a dude in an Iron Man mask robbing a bank in Flagler County. Yeah, we’re gonna go with that theory…

MIAMI HEAT ARE 2013 NBA CHAMPIONS!

After a gut-wrenching series that featured ups and downs and had all our balls in our stomachs, the Miami Heat has completed its quest for back-to-back championships and defeated the San Antonio Spurs in an epic Game 7. LeBron James brought the devastation, scoring 37 points, grabbing 12 rebounds, and…

Erik Spoelstra Needs to Play Dwyane Wade Less Tonight

Here we are. Game 7 has arrived, and all the happy good fun times of that crazy Game 6 victory have turned back to angst-ridden nervousness. We’d be having a lot more fun with this if our balls weren’t in our assholes right now. Still, it’s here, and we need…

Davie Teacher Charged With Abusing Disabled Student

Deborah Tersigni, a 44-year-old Davie school teacher, has been charged with child abuse after she allegedly restrained an 8-year-old intellectually and physically handicapped student. She also reportedly sat on top of the student, a Broward County School Police report says…

Allen West May Run Against Marco Rubio in 2016 Primary

It looks like former Rep. and Forever CommieNazi Hunter Colonel Allen West won’t rule out running against Marco Rubio in the GOP primary in 2016. Yes, 2016 is three years away. And yes, that’s a long time and anything can happen and, oh yeah, Obama is still president. But that…

Miami Heat Storms Back Against Spurs in Epic Game 6 Comeback

Seven seconds. The Miami Heat was seven seconds away from losing its NBA crown and watching the San Antonio Spurs celebrate a championship on its home court. Heat fans were seven seconds away from having their hearts ripped out of their chests and their souls condemned to a weary and…

Florida Man Arrested for Punching Police Horse’s Butt

A Florida man was talking on his cell phone in Orange Avenue in Orlando on Sunday when he went and allegedly punched a police horse in the rear, according to police. The mounted cops were trying to clear the streets of pedestrians, since it was 2:45 in the morning. See…

Kaitlyn Hunt’s Attorney Asks Judge to Step Down From Case

Kaitlyn Hunt’s attorney has asked the judge presiding over the case to remove himself. Turns out, Circuit Judge Robert Pegg set a trial date for Hunt for September. See also: -Kaitlyn Hunt, Florida Teen, Arrested and Expelled From School For Gay Relationship -Kaitlyn Hunt’s Attorney Asking Judge to Limit Her…

Marco Rubio and His “Weasel Words” Angers Republican Leader

Marco Rubio was once hailed as the Golden Boy Savior of America’s Grand Ole Party and the next for-sure president of the United States. But now he’s suddenly making a lot of peeps in his own party super mad because of all this immigration reform talky-talk. The latest Angry GOPer…

Rick Scott Signs Bill Banning Paid Sick Leave

Rick Scott, in an apparent mission to blow up every possible bridge linking him to re-election in 2014, signed a bill on Friday banning paid sick leave for Floridians, because, as much as they love to talk up how they hate Big Government and Bengazziiii and TAXES BAD, the GOPers…