Mr. Entertainment Makes Unceremonious Return With July Gigs

From his longtime Hollywood hideout, Mr. Entertainment (Steve Toth) makes this announcement: He’s coming out to play. And you know what that means, kids. He’s got the Pookiesmackers with him, that gleeful glop of glee-mongers. The band isn’t promoting a new record; in fact, it’s out helping Tongues of the…

Meatless Monday Taste Test: Gardein, the Substitute Chick’n

Just the facts, ma’am:We’d made the decision to start eating healthy, which for us meant not as many T-bone dinners, pork belly sashimi, wombat fritters, and the like. So we started a tradition (“meatless Mondays”) and adhered to it. We’d read about the new advances in Tofu Technology: Somewhere, scientists…

Ten Excuses for Eating at McDonald’s

What could be worse than eating at a McDonald’s?In this post-Fast Food Nation, post Super-Size Me, anti-corporate clime, there’s hardly anything less PC than taking your jalopy through a Mickey D’s drive-through for a greasy gut-bomb. Especially now that the Indie Burger Revolution has rolled through, what with all those…

As Gen. McChrystal’s Head Rolls, a Dearth of Rolling Stones

​In the wake of the news that Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal is no longer The Main Man in Afghanistan, we strolled into Bob’s News, the venerable periodical shop on South Andrews Ave., past the creepy dude ogling the nubiles in this month’s Barely Legal, past the how-to hydroponics guides, past last…

Deep Purple

Which would you rather see: a concert appearance with the septuagenarian rockers from Deep Purple, or a performance of the band´s legendary ¨Smoke on the Water¨ featuring 1,683 guitarists (which happened in Kansas City last month)? At least one has a whiff of unpredictability to it. Like any good 1970s…

Zombies Alive

Turns out there’s a simple recipe for becoming South Florida’s most talked-about new band, and it’s so simple, you’ll smack yourself for not thinking of it first. 1) Start with a 28-year-old economics student who looks a lot like Paul Giamatti, wearing glasses and dorky ties, an acid-tripping smile, and…

Disinfect This!

Brooklyn-based indie-rock upstarts Dirty on Purpose come loaded with all sorts of swoony strings (kind of like the Arcade Fire) and vocal tics (à la Clap Your Hands Say Yeah). Less down and dirty than precious and pretty, the band’s tunes mostly coast on spiky guitar lines, plunked-piano melodies, and…

Tie Me Up, Nawashi

Standing barefoot in the center of the temple, Lochai uncoils a 30-foot length of rope. It’s new rope, not much thicker than his thumb, four-stranded and fibrous. All the better to bind Jolie with. Jolie, a tiny, 20-year-old redhead from Coconut Grove, has modeled for 40-year-old Lochai, a Lake Worth…

Trial by Fire

Amanda Alley, Sheri Mock, and John McClellan shared a two-bedroom apartment in Davie. It faced away from the busy 7600 block of Griffin Road and, save for occasional barking dogs, was quiet. Except for the morning of July 27, 1998. At 5:27 a.m., Mock and her boyfriend, McClellan, were jolted…

Before and After Science

Sometime back in 1980, keyboardist Thomas Morgan Robertson — nicknamed “Dolby” due to his extensive audio expertise — was enjoying a good gig as a session synth player. After a night with Bruce Wooley and the Camera Club, a proto new-wave outfit, Dolby stole away for a few hours in…

Jaco Incorporated

Robert Rutherford thought he had a pretty good idea. A way for Oakland Park, where he lives, to honor its most famous native son, storied jazz bass player Jaco Pastorius, by naming a small new city park after him. Rutherford, an unassuming man in his early 30s (he won’t give…

Off the Leash

Steve Burk wants to call his “dog.” So he starts growling, barking, and grunting. “SASHA!” he shouts, clapping his hands. “RRrrrrrrr! GRRRRRRRR!” Sasha saunters around the corner. At 75 pounds, two-year old Sasha isn’t quite full-grown. He’s no ordinary dog: Even as an adolescent, Sasha is incredibly strong. He can…

A Broward Whodunit

Jack Nease was getting old, and he was pretty happy about it. He’d written thousands of column inches for the Sun-Sentinel’s business section, diligently untangling tales of wealth, corporate mergers, and stock fraud for the reading public. In August of 1995, Nease penned a column called “Going Strong at 62,…

Rim Job

Drew is on his way, and his car better be done when he gets there. It’ll take him maybe 45 minutes to make it down from Boynton Beach to a dark, dingy bay in a warehouse lodged against I-95 where his 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass has been transformed into a playa’s…

Rub, Tug, Repeat

When vice cops in Boca Raton suspected that a lotions and cosmetics store named La Place was really a massage parlor providing sexual acts, they dove right into a messy investigation. During more than a year of surveillance, police searched Dumpsters and garbage cans, coming up with used condoms, gooey…