Happy Birthday, Jesus Lizard’s David Yow!

​Judging by the sound of his music and onstage track record, Jesus Lizard frontman David Yow isn’t the type of dude who wants a birthday party for his birthday. The man loves to spit beer at his fans and berate them while his band plays music inspired by root canals…

Happy Birthday, Juliana Hatfield! Five of Her Best Songs

​One of the most beloved rockers of the ’90s, Juliana Hatfield, turns 44 today. Damn, girl — you don’t look a day over 26; for real. Her work with the Lemonheads, Blake Babies, the Juliana Hatfield 3, and on her own raised the bar for women in rock ‘n’ roll…

Celine Dion’s People Shut Down “Ridiculous Pictures” Site

Canadian songstress (and Jupiter Island resident) Celine Dion is serious about maintaining a nonridiculous image. Her management ordered 26-year-old superfan Nick Angiolillo to take down all the content from his Tumblr, Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion. According to Angiolillo’s statement, his “blog [was] well within the realm of ‘fair use.'”…

Rebecca Black’s “My Moment” Was So Last Week

Everyone who knows who Rebecca Black is, knows she is famous for her awkwardly charming song “Friday.” It was hard to not react with anything other than stunned disbelief when watching that video. Then she got really famous, for being everything she seemed to be in the video. Then her…

Suggestions for Lil Wayne’s Alcohol-Free Backstage Party Zone

Lil Wayne’s been maintaining a clear head since he was released from Riker’s Island last November. Sure, it’s court-ordered, but at least Weezy’s living by the book. Part of his three-year probation is that Tha Carter doesn’t drink or drug during the three years he is under the court’s watch…

Next Monday Is “My Moment” for Rebecca Black

Next… damn, what comes after a week from now? Christmas? Wait, wait… we got it: another Monday! Next Monday we are going to hear her new single. The song is written by Brandon “Blue” Hamilton. Blue produced Justin Bieber’s “Born to Be Somebody.” We don’t know what the term “producer”…

How to Make Doomtree’s “Wugazi” Mash-Up Album Awesome

A Fugazi and Wu-Tang mash-up album is in the works on Doomtree Records. On paper, the idea makes the 18-year-olds inside of us excited as hell. The name, Wugazi, is clever enough, and the concept leads to some pretty high expectations. I mean, these are two of the most important,…

How to Fix Lady Gaga’s Tumblr

If you have a 9 to 5 job, you know Tumblr is where you go to get the most for your time-wasting buck. You just sit there and scroll down until you see a photo of cats with lasers or an animated .gif of Bill Cosby, just Cozzin’ around. We…

Addax Debuts Polaroid-Filled “Brightest Green” Video

Miami/Hollywood alternative rockers Addax have just unleashed an MTV Class of ’99-worthy music video. Let me be redundant by saying, since MTV barely plays videos anymore and I don’t have cable, I wouldn’t know what an MTV Class of ’09-11 video looks like. I guess the videos MTV plays are…

Vanilla Ice Launches Real Estate Website

“Back in the ’90s, my album became the fastest-selling hip-hop record of all time… and it still is,” boasts Rob Van Winkle. We don’t even have to tell you that Van Winkle is Vanilla Ice, you live in South Florida, this is part of fourth-grade Florida history. So, the man…

Five Dandy Ray Davies Tunes on His 67th Birthday

In 1966, Ray Davies sang, “When you’re old and gray, you will remember what they said: ‘that two girls are too many, three’s a crowd and four you’re dead.'” Kind of eerie, that now on his 67th birthday, he is the survivor of three weddings. In the ’60s, he was…

30 Gifts for Brandon Flowers’ 30th Birthday

​Happy birthday to the Killers’ Brandon Flowers. Brandon, now that you’re 30, we feel it is our duty, our obligation, to be frank with you. Dude, sir, mister… what happened, man? When we first met you, you were a 23-year-old songbird with boundless potential. When we last saw you with…

Five Homages to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” We’re Dying to Hear

As reported by TMZ, Rebecca Black’s management team (her mom? Her friends in the front seat/back seat?) have submitted a takedown notice to YouTube for her smash hit song “Friday.” Apparently, Ark Music Factory is totally cashing in on the instant classic song, and they do not own the performance…