Five Airplane Foods Not to Spill on Your Junk

News broke this week of a 50-year-old man from Gulf Breeze who allegedly had an unfortunate incident with Tabasco sauce on a flight to Idaho. He told police he spilled the sauce on his lap, causing uncontrollable burning and itching. The 17-year-old girl sitting next to him thought he was…

[UPDATED] Will John Goodman Play Polo This Season? Stay Tuned.

UPDATE: New Times was kicked out of a press conference at the International Polo Club today. More details after the jump. Will criminal charges accusing him of causing a fatal, drunken car accident keep Wellington polo mogul John Goodman off the playing field this year?The new season at the International…

Merry “Quitness”: Cleveland (Still) Hates LeBron James

LeBron James just led the Miami Heat to a 12-game winning streak, but that doesn’t mean his hometown fans in Cleveland have forgiven him for deserting them. “The 12 Days of Quitness” features King James as an elf, a chorus chant of “He sold us out on national TV,” and…

The Best Texts of 2010: Rothstein, Villegas, Obama, You?

Another year, another round of thumb-induced regret. In the age of smart phones, texting has become an essential part of the news cycle.Here are our favorite screeds that were either written or released to the public in the past year. Feel free to add your own suggestions:5. I made weed…

State Refuses Tour of Thompson Academy, the Juvenile Lockup Accused of Abuse

The state Department of Juvenile Justice has denied New Times’ request to tour Thompson Academy, the detention center in Pembroke Pines where some teenagers have alleged they were physically and sexually abused.Samadhi Jones, a spokesperson for DJJ, offered little explanation for the decision. She said law enforcement officials and the…

Worst Campaign Ads of 2010

It’s an election season most of us would rather forget. But in the spirit of holiday cheer, here’s a quick trip down memory lane. The worst (or best?) political ads of 2010:5. Lizbeth Benacquisto’s rape ad. The Republican state Senate candidate used the ad to address her position on abortion…

Months Before Lawsuit, Thompson Academy Held “Keep the Peace” Event

Nine months before a federal lawsuit alleging physical and sexual abuse was filed against a juvenile detention center in Pembroke Pines, the facility held a morale-boosting event designed to “keep the peace.”The January event was organized by Thompson Academy administrator Craig Ferguson. Youth Services International, the for-profit company that’s contracted…

The Lawyers and Clinics in the 411-PAIN Network

Last week’s New Times cover story was an investigation of the 1-800-411-PAIN Referral Service, a network of chiropractors and lawyers that solicits clients who have been in car accidents. Some readers requested we list the names of the professionals involved in the network. Since it’s a private company, we don’t…

Before Lewis Murder, Rothstein Considered Tony Villegas a “Coward”

For months before attorney Melissa Britt Lewis was killed, she and Debra Villegas worried that Debra’s estranged husband would make good on his threats to harm Debra. Scott Rothstein, their boss at the Rothstein Rosenfeldt Adler firm and Debra’s close friend, tried to calm the women.”You guys don’t need to…

West Palm Beach Rapper Drops 411-PAIN Mixtape

The $13.2 million the 1-800-411-PAIN Referral Service has spent on advertising in the past dozen years has not gone to waste. The Broward-based company — which solicits clients who have been in car accidents and refers them to chiropractors and personal injury lawyers — is popular enough to have more…

Two 411-PAIN Attorneys Have Been Disciplined by Florida Bar

The 1-800-411-PAIN Referral service is a network of chiropractors and lawyers that solicits clients who have been injured in car accidents. In October, a class-action lawsuit was filed against the Broward-based company, alleging that it has misled customers into using its services. According to the suit, the company uses commercials…

411-PAIN Commercials: Cop, Ambulance Driver, “Stay in Yo’ Lane”

This week’s New Times cover story is an investigation of 1-800-411-PAIN Referral Service, a Broward company that calls itself a “medical and legal referral service” for people who have been injured in car accidents. Call the hotline and you’ll be sent to a chiropractor and/or lawyer in a network that…

Despite Alleged Sex Assaults, State Officials Give Thompson Academy Passing Grade

Despite allegations that teenagers were physically and sexually assaulted while living there, Thompson Academy in Pembroke Pines has received high marks from state officials.In October 2009, the for-profit juvenile detention center received a “commendable performance” grade on a quality assurance review conducted by investigators from the state Department of Juvenile…

Sky Magazine Gives 32-Page Wet Kiss to Palm Beach County

Palm Beach County, we hardly knew ye. Mesmerized by the hundreds of empty condos, parade of jail-bird politicians, foreclosure crisis, and pill mills, we’ve overlooked your many charms. Thankfully, Delta’s Sky magazine dedicated 32 glorious pages to extolling your virtues in this month’s issue.The article trumpets the area’s “coveted colleges…

Hate TSA Body Scans? Homeland Security Is Also Monitoring Your Tweets

If you thought intrusive body scans and airport pat downs were just a fluke in the War on Terror bureaucracy, fear not: The Department of Homeland Security has plenty of other programs that will make your skin crawl.For instance, Big Brother is reading your tweets and Facebook status updates, searching…

Debra Villegas Claims She and Melissa Lewis Were “Not Lesbians”

One more rumor put to rest? According to Debra Villegas, her friendship with slain Rothstein attorney Melissa Britt Lewis was an extraordinarily close bond and a support system, not a sexual thing.”She was my dearest friend in the whole world,” Debra said in a 2009 interview with Plantation police. “I…

Video: Debra Villegas Tells of Rothstein’s Affair With Melissa Lewis

On Sunday, we brought you the news of Scott Rothstein’s alleged affair with his slain employee, Melissa Britt Lewis. Here’s the sworn interview where Debra Villegas, Lewis’ best friend and Rothstein’s right-hand woman at his now-defunct law firm, tells a Plantation police officer about the affair.Notice that the officer persuades…

Melissa Lewis Had an Affair With Scott Rothstein, Villegas Says

Ponzi schemer Scott Rothstein and his slain employee, Melissa Britt Lewis, had an affair when Lewis was a law student, according to Debra Villegas.The alleged affair, which Villegas revealed in a videotaped statement to Plantation police, raises serious questions about Lewis’ murder two years ago.”Scott was having affairs with any…

Warren Newell and Tony Masilotti, Out of Prison and Crying Innocent

There’s nothing quite so heartwarming as a convicted political felon crying foul and asking for his hard-earned bribes back. Two former Palm Beach County commissioners are fighting that fight, and their chutzpah is admirable.Warren Newell and Tony Masilotti, freshly freed from prison, argue in federal court documents that the money…