Mr. Joan Crawford

After the death of legendary actress Joan Crawford, her daughter published a book that has gone down as one of the most unflattering tell-alls in history. Cristina Crawford alleged that her mother was an alcoholic, ruthlessly careerist and abusive, capable of attempted strangling, and prone to raging out when finding…

Handicapped Art

Studio 18 has hit upon an interesting premise for an art exhibit: It’s taken works from 40 regional artists, including two New Times Best Of winners, and hung them side by side with reinterpretations of those works by the mentally handicapped, people with autism, cerebral palsy, and other such disorders…

Epic Bitch Fight

Chitterling Heights is a play about two powerful black artists at the beginning of the civil rights era. And it’s about their bickering. The action unfolds at the country house of Lorraine Hansberry, famed author of Raisin in the Sun. Her guest is James Baldwin, a revolutionary writer who tackled…

Gigantic Fucking Muscles

Freakishly fit men and women will be flexing their engorged, glistening musculature in Speedos and bikinis at the 31st Annual NPC Southern States Championships, the largest of its kind east of the Mississippi. The contestants, from teenagers to the middle-aged and over-70 seniors, have been subjecting themselves to punishing workouts…

The Yankee Chicks

The Andrews Sisters were perhaps the biggest pop act of the “Greatest Generation.” They could harmonize like Homer’s Sirens and move like Michael Jackson, and they’re credited with helping meld blues with rhythm. As a trio, they sold more than 75 million records. Their music is ridiculously catchy and occasionally…

Psychedelic Portraits and Burned Things

The 1310 Gallery is opening its three-story collective in Fort Lauderdale to show off some irresistibly unusual works by Floridian artists. Leslie Elsasser of the University of South Florida trained in India under two masters of the Mogul School, a brand of miniature painting that she has Americanized. Meanwhile, Gorgeta…

The British Invasion

Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, a replica of an open-air venue that burned down in 1614, is sponsoring nationwide screenings of Shakespearean flicks, and venues across Florida are participating. It all starts on Monday with a screening of The Merry Wives of Windsor, a comedy reputed as the only play in which…

Ninjas in the Ring

Flinty fighters of both sexes will be beating on one another at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino & Hotel for the Bellator 46 Fighting Championships. Bellator sponsors sparring in mixed martial arts, and the fighters are trained in the likes of judo and jujitsu. Their methods may be more refined,…

Coffee and Sculptures

The Undergrounds Coffeehaus is a rare local alternative to Starbucks and its soul-sucking corporate vibe. The gemütlich little haunt sports a jam station and piles of used books and board games. And on Saturday, it will be overrun by an immobile crowd of plaster-casted relief sculptures created by Hilda Vazquez,…

A Big Gay Parade

Since Bill Clinton decreed it so in 2000, June has been Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. And there are few places better to celebrate than Wilton Manors — with an LGBT population more than 1000 percent higher than the national average. Sunday, the town is holding its annual Stonewall Street…

Take a Stand

Two Boys in a Bed on a Cold Winter’s Night is an allegory about the one-night stand. Set in New York in 1987 amid the dead heat of the AIDS epidemic, the acclaimed play follows two hunky, middle-aged near-strangers, Daryl and Peter, as they plunge into a night of fraught…

Do You Want to Take My Picture?

The Museum of Art|Fort Lauderdale is putting on a blockbuster exhibit of photography. “The Art of Caring: A Look at Life Through Photography” exhibits 200 pictures spanning 60 years. Each one is a portrait of a key moment in human life. The photos are divided into seven categories, from “disaster”…

Ladies and Lechers

Get out your gimp suit, leash, and nipple clamps. The Fetish Factory is throwing its “16-Year Anniversary Fetish Weekend,” a celebration of kink that attracts committed pervs from around the world to the Hilton at Fort Laud’s airport and the Sheraton at 1825 Griffin Road. Friday starts in the Sheraton’s…

Buncha Tools

The human species is hardly unique for using tools. Herons fish with bait; veined octopuses build homes out of coconut shells; seagulls drop oysters onto roads to be cracked apart by cars; and elephants dig wells, then plug them with balls of bark to prevent evaporation. On one score, though,…

Off to the Races

So it’s not the Tour de France, but the bike race snarling traffic and electrifying crowds this Sunday in downtown Fort Lauderdale will be worth checking out. The event, “Bike and Wellness Day,” is part of the $100,000 Bill Bone Pro-Am Race Series, which feeds into the national cycling ranking…

A Wolfgang Opera

Don Giovanni, a two-act opera by Mozart, has captivated artists and philosophers for centuries. Kierkegaard called it “a work without blemish, of uninterrupted perfection.” So what’s all the hype about? Don Giovanni is the antihero, a young, rich, and lecherous playboy, so slutty that he records his sexual conquests on…

Free Drinks, Free Cupcakes, Free Massage

Long-haired, Birkenstock-wearing hippies are not the target demographic at “Earth Day Fest,” an ongoing art show at an artists’ loft in Fort Lauderdale. The organizers say they’re taking Earth Day upscale. To raise environmental awareness, they’re offering free rubdowns, courtesy of the massage therapists of the American Institute School of…

Car Culture

Our newest car models come with built-in GPS, DVD players, automatic parallel parking, and little alarms that wake up sleeping drivers. But for all those gizmos and gadgets, undoubtedly a certain grandeur has been lost in car design since the Buick Y-Job — the world’s first concept car, an art-deco-styled…

Mommy Issues

The Beauty Queen of Leenane is an Irish play set in a cramped, drab kitchen, where an aging mother and her spinster daughter are destroying each other in a deranged, deteriorating, codependent relationship. Funny, right? Though profoundly bleak, the play is leavened by the peculiar dark comedy special to playwright…

Hired Guns

A shadow army of mercenaries is waging the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They outnumber U.S. troops on many battlefields, and they’re paid far more. Their profession is about as savory as killing people for profit can be. Xe Services, the impossible-to-pronounce kingpin mercenary clan formerly known as Blackwater, has…

Grimm Job

In the early 1800s, the Brothers Grimm traveled Germany transcribing folk tales. Today, the pair is little-known for creating the first primitive German dictionary or developing a revolutionary theory of philology — but they’ve been practically immortalized by the compilation they created from their German fieldwork. Grimm’s Fairy Tales is…

Sip and Slide

It can be said without sarcasm that the slider is a grand American culinary achievement and a rare symbol of moderation in the age of bacon sundaes and quadruple stacks. The compact car of beef, it packs the juice and deliciousness of a big burger without putting people at inordinate…