Finally, the movie on Notorious B.I.G. hits theaters today and it seems that the anticipation for the film’s release is running high. Notorious actors have been hitting the talk show circuit, Lil’ Kim is up in arms about how she was portrayed, Diddy is being all dramatic on YouTube, and…
Trips to the bathroom would be boring without the possibility of running into one of our coke-sniffing co-workers doing a Lohan in one of the stalls. And these days, we don’t crowd around the water cooler to talk about the latest episode of Heroes; we wanna see if the boss…
As a youth, you were content with spending December 31 watching the nuts in Times Square lose their shit as Dick Clark counted down the seconds until that big disco ball in the sky plummeted to Earth. Somewhere along the line, ringing in the New Year became synonymous with champagne…
Maryland has the blue crab, an aggressive bugger that will throw a pinch at anything moving on land or sea. Getting them to stay in the pot long enough to send them to a steamy death is a task for a seasoned vet, but the mustardy guts and sweet meat…
We and millions of other Americans vowed to slim down once the clock struck 2009, but this year, laziness and procrastination have a strange new bedfellow, and it kinda almost rhymes with robbery. You got it, the economy. And since we have millions of Americans to commiserate with, we’re forced…
Our mama always hoped we were the child prodigy in the family. She pushed us from dance classes to piano lessons to soccer practice, hoping one activity would help us escape a lifetime of mediocrity and push us into the star-spangled heights of greatness. We proved to be simply average…
Photo by Jonas Grabarnick/The Opium GroupSomeone whispered “Common’s around the corner” into my ear and disappeared into the winsome mob at Louis. I had been so thrown off by the sensation of an 18th century soldier sweeping party debris across my feet, I hadn’t even realized that I had wandered…
Ask a late-night couch potato what it means to Jaywalk. If they watch Letterman they’ll give you a boring answer about crossing the street at the appropriate time and intersection. But Leno-philes will tell you that it’s the moment in your life when you completely forget who lives at the…
The joint is tucked away on SoBe’s 17th Street, past the busboys’ cigarette spot and a strangely ubiquitous heap of the Delano’s daytime trash. Admission is an “I belong” smile to the stone-faced security guard. On Tuesday nights, a stroll down the steps, through the glass doors, and along a…
The holiday season has strayed from its frankincense and myrrh roots and become an ode to Hannah Montana and the latest iWhatever. You should stop being such a damn consumer, help someone less fortunate, and we’ll take that new Nano in pink while you spend the ducats on your ticket…
You only have to watch one hour of Headline News to know that a large segment of today’s youth are lazy slobs who won’t try a sport unless it has the word “Wii” affixed to it. And we don’t blame them; if honey bun-eating were an Olympic sport, we’d be…
Taking a shot of tequila can give you the type of heady inebriation that one-night stands are made of, and chugging beer from a frosty mug can bring you to your knees — either in front of a toilet or in front of your bedmate. But when you take the…
You probably send hundreds of LOLs and LMAOs by text message every day, but the true question is: Are you thumbing away with a straight face, or are you really laughing out loud? Cell phone messaging has created a loss of intimacy when it comes to funny. Let’s face it…
Gas prices are sky-high, political crap is ruling the airwaves, and the unemployment rate is to the point where PhD’s are applying for jobs at Mickey D’s. While your first instinct may be to reach for the nearest bottle of liquor, you probably can’t afford that — so drown your…
A few times each year, New Times takes a break from reporting to party down with you, dear reader. Booze can’t lose, so Beerfest scores major points. And now, we’re plugging sex: How would you like to get Unzipped? If we exchange our usual words and rhetoric with a fashion…
The wind whistles and howls to announce the entrance of buckets and buckets of faux snow, forcing you to realize that you’re not in Kansas anymore, sweetie. An orchestra erupts in sound and a deranged looking clown fitted in a burnished yellow jumpsuit and intentionally droopy makeup comes trouncing onto…
Some celebrity siblings manage to carve out their own section of the spotlight, while others are comfortable warming their measly career in the shine cast on their more famous kin. Don’t confuse Tony Rock with the second group, because the only footsteps he’s followed in are some very funny ones…
Somewhere between his dramatic turn as crackhead Pookie in New Jack City and his creation of the hilarious CW hit Everybody Hates Chris, the world had to admit that Chris Rock was a damn good actor, writer, and of course, comedian. He gets us giggling when he talks about anything…
When you hop onto your bicycle with a beer in one hand and an erect middle finger in the other, your friends think that you’re nuts. “Watch out for open car doors!,” “Obey the traffic lights!,” they scream, but your hair is already blowing in the wind, you’re hell on…
For the past couple of months, your Mondays have been moody, miserable, and muddled. And more than once, you’ve wondered, “Where have my sexy vibes and happy feelings gone?” You’ve even found yourself in the midtown area, looking for the cool kids who used to run to the Miami club…
The Winter Music Conference blows into town tomorrow, and it’s going to tantalize you with a flurry of sights and sounds, and then it will leave you – alone and shaking in the gutter, fiending for more. We’re totally looking forward to that feeling, but you may be into something…
Some festivals roll into town with a whimper, others with a cough, and then you have Jazz in the Gardens. This two-day extravaganza of smooth grooves is coming down Dan Marino Boulevard riding the sweet sounds of George Benson’s guitar, the immortal pipes of Chaka Khan, and whichever musical trick…
